Another Day at the Gym...

Well as promised here I am again…happy to see me? Well I’m happy you decided to check in on little ol me.  So as I was telling you all I have been back hitting the gym pretty hard I go at least 4 times a week.  Twice I week I go to a gym right next door to my job and two days a week I go to a gym near my home.  The two gyms while similar are different as well in their own regard.  The characteristics that we talked about before are still around…however, now being an avid goer I have noticed other gym characters.

Stinker…ok so we discussed this before the musty and overly funky guys. The ones that probably stank to high hell before they even came into the gym. Well ALAS they have been matched there are WOMEN who smell like grown funky men! NOW I know what you’re thinking what do you expect it’s a gym people are going to be stinky.  OK please know I get that and I understand…I feel you.  I'm sure when I am there I don’t smell like a bed of roses but, PLEASE NOTE and please hear what I’m saying here and feel my pain…there is no way I should be running on the treadmill and you are a row back and two machines over and I can smell your funky tail! C’mon you can’t tell me that isn’t crazy and again THIS IS A WOMAN (true story at the work gym). Even the guys cringe like geez.  I really think she needs to get checked out by her primary care physician. I’m just saying that’s crazy!

Puddle Leaver…

Now if you visit a gym sometimes or on a regular basis you know that it is courteous to wipe down the equipment when you are done.  So if I get done with a weight machines, bike or treadmill etc then I should either

 A) Wipe it down with my towel OR 

B) Use the cleaner the gym has to wipe the equipment off for the next person to use.

Well yeah I guess I come across the ones who were horrible at following directions as a kid…because I get to some machines and the small pools of sweat left behind…yeah not that's not hot! Do you want to hear something really crazy…well at the other gym by work well the same lady stinky is horrible at this! She doesn’t wipe anything off and BAM we know everywhere she has been. Baptized in the funk I tell ya! So when you guys go please wipe the stuff off!

I’m sure you all have seen the Beauty Queen/Poser this would be the one who comes in the gym with full make up on and hair down or all done up. Ok, now if that’s what you choose to do on purpose to come to the gym that’s fine but if you are working out all that crap is going to begin to run all down in your eyes and just have you looking like your melting.

You also have the poser…I just started seeing this recently myself but not really much before….woman all in the mirror at the gym like…

 What are you doing? You're supposed to be working out lol. Ladies, you know what, actually fella’s do it too thus they show up on your Facebook pages except they don’t be in  the mirror posting with duck faces…..

Ladies please stop or not and I can keep laughing! LOL

Ok the let me get off the characteristics for just a second (we will come back to it I promise)…but I have to cover the subject of gym equipment and weight. An important part of gym etiquette at least in my book is when you are done with a weight machine you should take the pin out or remove the weight.  I mean I know I’m bufft and all LOL but yeah when I get on a machine and go to do an exercise odds are I can’t handle the 2,000 lbs you guys left on. That one isn't that big a deal unless you are using a free weight machine then it's rather annoying.

Ok moving on along something else that I see that frankly cracks me up is…is…sorry I was giggling. Ok ok let me get it together…

People, when you are new to the whole workout thing please learn how to properly use the equipment otherwise everyone quietly laughs at you…you won’t see us but we snicker and it comes out typically with just a smile and bless their hearts. They are as serious as a heart attack. I saw a guy on this glute machine that looks like this…

OK  when you get on the machine your stomach/chest should be at the pad and you push back to work your glutes like so….

Well, bless his heart lol this guy decided to put his back on the pad and try to push with his foot facing the other way.  Well he couldn't really do it because it wasn't made to do that, he was sweating up a storm and about to dislocate his knee. I was watching from a chest press machine trying not to bust out laughing.  I gained my composure and just walked over and pointed to the picture on the machine. 

*side note* normally all work out equipment in the gym as a graphic of some sort to show you how to work that particular piece of equipment. 

He then just looked at me and I walked off with music blasting in my ears and headed to another machine.

In the same breath as it relates to using weights in the gym…If you can do like 200 reps of something in like 30 seconds odd it’s too light and you need to add more weight! This guy walks by me grinning like I’m supposed to be impressed (I wasn't thinking about him I was getting my work out on) anyways he goes over to do lat pulls like you see below…

 I swear the weight I used is more than that…and he grabbed the bar and no joke did like turbo reps and warp speed…I’m like that can’t possibly be doing anything geez buddy, I know sometimes you can go lighter weight and more reps but that was such a waste of time. Then he looks back and me and smiles and I just had a look like o_O , I have to be honest I usually see more women doing this then men.

On the other side of things having too much weight. You have to push yourself…ok I get that but not to the point that you hurt yourself. Or the weight is pulling you around.  This poor guy was using this pull down machine like you see here:

…it’s not funny but it is lol..he had so much weight he had to stand up and almost swing to pull the weight down…well when he goes to go up with the rep before pulling it back down…the weight pulled him up out of his seat and almost ripped his arms out the socket. Let me be honest. I laughed out loud at him,  don’t judge me! He looked over at me and I coughed and played it off. 

OK one more funny weight story then we will move on and I will wrap up…I promise…I just missed telling you guys these stories.  So couple days ago this guy hops on the hammer ab machine this machine you sit in and you pull down while pulling your knees up to work your abs (pictured above). Well this machine honestly is a beast, its difficult.  I’ll be the first to admit but ill also be the first to admit that I don’t get on there and throw on 1000 lbs either.  This guy gets on this machine and has too much weight.  By that I mean I am on the leg press machine next to him in between songs I hear him grunting and blowing all hard yet nothing was moving…his face was all red and shaky.  I’m like dude just lighten the friggin weight but he was really straining it was quite hilarious. Sorry but it's true.

                                                                

On the other side of things having too much weight. You have to push yourself…ok I get that but not to the point that  you hurt yourself. Or the weight is pulling you around.  This poor guy was using this pull down machine like you see below…it’s not funny but it is lol..he had so much weight he had to stand up and almost swing to pull the weight down…well when he goes to go up with the rep before pulling it back down…the weight pulled him up out of his seat and almost ripped his arms out the socket.

Ok back to some other gym characters…oh man I could on go and on…but let me tell you about the Clingers.  Ok if you go to the gym and haven’t seen them next time you go you will see at least one I promise. It's like the new thing….to see the incline on the treadmill to aimed to Heaven and watch folks hold on for dear life trying not to fall off. It’s one of the funniest people watching characters at the gym. They are working those calves but most are slumped over clinging to the rails while trying to read a magazine! BWhahahahahahahaha c’mon if this is you stop! You look ridiculous!

Right way:

Wrong Way:

Ok, OK I will wrap it up there folks but as I go to the gym I will have to come home and just shoot you guys a quick blog to give you a laugh. OH wait before  I go….I forgot one…the folks who go to the gym in regular jeans and shirts.  You  think  yeah right no way! I’m telling you they exist and man do they stick out like a sore thumb to see a guy in jeans and a button up lifting weights or on the stationary bike…

it will make you question what you’re seeing.

Well hopefully I haven’t bored you to tears but gave you some things to look for and find humor in when you go to the gym. Blog ya later

I'm bbbaaaaaaccckkkkkkk

Well, well, well here so we meet again (I just pronounced it while typing A Gain in my English accent…) oh at any rate…

How the hell are ya?!
How have you been…do tell!
I really will read how you have been in comments…I promise. I hope you all have been super awesome!

Anyways, well let’s see your wondering where I have been and why have I been M.I.A…oooooooor maybe not; just ran across my blog like yeah what is this? Well if you were wondering I have just been a little procrastinator and didn't think anyone really wanted to read what I had to say… then I logged on and saw I had 10k plus hits and was thinking well someone likes me.

Face it we all like to feel liked! If you say you don’t care, you’re lying.

Now, if this is your first time here…WELCOME. Have a seat and hope you enjoy!

Perhaps after reading my last blog post you think I rode off into my happily ever after in love and stuff… YEA NO! Didn't happen…all I will say is that getting “to know you” stage is crucial and sometimes when you get to know a person you realize not only are you not on the same page, but you’re not even in the same book or the same bookstore for that matter.


Hey no heart feelings but I had to keep it moving.

My ankle surgery was a success I believe I mentioned that to you all…I have a pretty gnarly Frankenstein looking scar as the lady at the gym referred to it. I have bounced back…not quite 100% as in jumping but running etc and even began wearing heels a little. Ok, so enough about that snoozeville stuff!

I just wanted to make a quick entry to say hey and let you know that more craziness is coming back! Since I have been hitting the gym 4 days a week I have witnessed a lot more!

I'll have to share it with you all…not to mention the dating game. Which by the ways sucks some of the males I have come across…whoa buddy! Funny but not funny..psshhhh ok let me stop funny!
Ok ok let me go so I can start on the blog to tell you guys about crazy personalities I have now come across at the gym. We will talk about it all and then some. I promise. Glad to be back...I must give Kudos for my friend Kim Barnes who inspired me to get back on it! Kim's Bama blog is hilarious yet very true as well it can be found on my blog links its called the Bama Blog.

K,Blog ya later

I know I Haven't blogged in 4 months but...

Wellllllll hello there...long time no read huh?
I know I know and before you guys go judging me just know I have had alot going on...haven't been focused on being able to sit still and blog.  Two words...my bad. Ok now that we have gotten all that out of the way...I bet you want to know what exciting topic has inspired me to blog. Well nothing in particular I need to get back into the swing of things...I will update my facebook status to something and think hmmm that would make an awesome blog topic. Then what do I do yup you guessed move on and forget.
Well I guess i'll give you a quick cliff notes version of what I have been up too the past few months...*Cracks knuckles*
Let's see I last blogged in December so lets pick up with the new year...

Flash back to January...

This was a mellow month then about half way through my angel in my life my grandmother, Marie Brown passed away Febuary 1.

I never imagined life without her such a rock in my life but its bitter sweet.  I want here with me but in the same breath I know she is in a much better place and if I don't have to worry about anyone going to Heaven its her.
This was a time for reflection to realize how important family and friends are. Also, to really know when you leave this Earth what impression are you leaving behind...that of greatness or mess? I choose greatness just like her! She was the best example of a non judgemental Christian ever! To know her was to love her.
Also, in January found out  a couple of my besties were pregnant! I'll be excited with those babies get here so I can go visit and steal baby cheeks and kisses.

February was mainly consumed by that..I have also this year started working out even more than I used too...its become the best stress reliever for me! I started the Insanity program,  It is super intense if you don't know what it is and you need a good workout I recommend it....www.insanity.com.  I also have been hitting the gym and playing my usual sports...
Oh so your reading this yeah yeah pick it up huh your used to me making you laugh not making you sad...I know I know...ok, ok





Well let's see...

I've had a couple inquires about what happened to ol #94 well I'm happy to report that ol #94 is doing just fine and is happily involved in a relationship. I am very happy for him.  He really deserves that happiness. We are still friends and that's what we are best at :)
No no don't act like aww man. It's a good thing,  Everything isn't for everybody and it was totally for the best at least as far as I am concerned. I may get an invite to his wedding, that'd be awesome. :)
Alright enough about #94 so your thinking well what about you?! Well what about me? ok ok enough with the beating around the bush...well I have been busy being swept off my feet. Yeah from previous posts you know that has not been an easy thing for the ninja is what I shall call him :) it's like he came out of no where!
It's strange how God works he always seems to give us what we need when we need it.  He just kinda snuck up on me but he is so awesome! Keeps me smiling, feeling special and always keeps it genuine and is very patient.  Even critiques me and gets on me when I'm wrong...pssshhh yeah like i'm ever wrong...just kidding! We have grown so close that honestly folks, I say to you...its scary, haven't felt this way in a lllloooooooooonnnnngggggggg time.  I just have to relax and enjoy the journey and see where it leads us.

What a lil taste of happiness looks like :) Thank you ninja! lol

Well that completes my update! OO OO before I forget...ill be having ankle surgery in June so I will be all laid up so guess who will be blogging like a crazy person!

Stay tuned I promise...I have a bunch of good stuff stewing in this disturbed brain oh mine! Until then peace!

My Adventures in the Gym

Well hello there again!

As promised in the previous post…I will break down what I have observed in my visits to the gym.  Now, I have always been pretty athletic and fit.  Not tooting my own horn it’s just something that is in my DNA I think to be active exercising or playing sports.   Well my season of flag football, basketball is over until spring.  So in addition to my boxing work out I said to myself…”Self you need to get to the gym a few times a week to relieve stress and get that six pack you want.” Well it’s going well, but I digress…this blog is not about my physical progress workout. Maybe we will discuss that one day but yeah not today. In my frequent trips to the gym and if you hadn’t noticed I’m a bit of a people watcher…well I have categorized some gym goers.  Once you read these I’m sure you will be able to identify.

First up we shall pay homage to the:

GYM RAT:

These are the guys that have to lift as much weight as humanly possible for their body, they have to make grunting noise, yell, and scream so everyone in the gym knows they are “getting buff.”  Also, typically they lift weight close to a mirror so once they are done they can spring up and check out their physique in said mirror.  Once the gym rat has finished a particular weight routine.  They usually grab a towel and water bottle and walk around the gym doing the buff walk like they own the place.  Wait…why are you looking like that…you don’t know what the buff walk is? Oh allow me to explain…ok hunch both your shoulders up, then let your arms dangle free slightly bent and away from your body, now squeeze both your butt cheeks in now walk…BAM look at you buff walking!!!

Next up is America’s favorite the:

The Spokesperson:

These are the people who come into the gym and you think wow they are about to hit it hard! OR if playing basketball for instance you think whoa did they play in college.  All because they have the LOOK down! They will have on the Nike shoes, socks, shorts, air dry razor back tank top or jersey, the Nike head band, towel, watch etc the list goes on and on.  However, if you notice this a lot of time is the person with absolutely NO ATHLETIC bone in their body. If they are just working out they come often but the ol elliptical or treadmill defeats them in 3 mins or less. The weighted machines stay on a weight of 10 or the pin isn’t in at all. But I tell you what bless their hearts they look good doing it.  They get picked up in a basketball game only for their team to realize that was an EPIC fail of a decision to pick them up.   However, the Spokesperson can sure give you great tips on fashionable gym attire! If this is your style…hey embrace it its ok…look one of our favorite comedian Kevin Hart does…watch…

OK moving on along to the…

The Singles:

These are folks that can also fall under one of the categories above.  Yet the main purpose of Singles is to simply check out chicks or guys.  This is the guy who will give you that huge smile and then randomly pop up next to you on every machine you get on…the Singles can sometime be a bit creepy. Now women are in this category…wanna know how to spot a woman that’s a singles…find her next to a somewhat hot guy in the gym she will be on the treadmill next to him leisurely walking with a full face of make up but dressed like a SPOKESPERSON.

Next we get to the…

The New Years Resolution Maker:

These folks usually come out of the wood work after the holidays. These are the folks who went the ol New Years ball dropped they made the resolution that this would be the year that they would get in shape.  They get excited and sometimes form group…yay.  They then get all the apparel needed for the gym and head on down to the local gym and sign up.  Some even get personal trainers…because they are serious this time not like that past years. Nope this year it’s different. Well the New Years Resolution Makers start off good and strong sad part is usually about 2 weeks later…nada Gyms love the New Years Resolution Makers they get them obligated in contracts and get their money never see them again.  FREE MONEY!

Then comes the:

“I’ve got to get my body right for the summer" person:  

 Actually see New Years Resolution Maker however this person usually emerges in April or May right before the summer.  One caveat is sometime this is the person that says they will hit it hard to be able to get into a bikini by summer obstacle is their body most likely looks like this…

Next Up:

The never ending runner:

This group of people I secretly envy…they run for ever and ever and ever.  Me after a mile and a half 2 and most I’m tuckered out.  I had to work to get to that point.  Don’t judge me I was a sprinter not a cross country runner! This person usually has a straight face, ear buds in ears or watching TV…they usually are dripping in sweat and have a towel for the occasional sweat wipe away…

The Magazine reader:

I think this is a new generation of exercisers or something…I mean we come to the gym to work up a sweat right…WRONG these folks have the latest edition of Cosmo or People and catching up with celebrity gossip while working out.  I must admit I tried it yeah not so much for me…I’ll stick with reading mags in the Doc office waiting room, but hey if it works for you. Great lol.

Are you the:

Stinky dude:

This dude may or may not be a gym rat, but most likely not a Spokesperson or Single.   This is the guy who is super sweaty and stinks to high hell like the invention of deodorant hasn’t been discovered yet.  This guy may be outgoing but he is usually all over the gym and you know this because his stench is all over the gym turning heads and burning nose hairs out of all gym patrons.  This person is also not going to use the sanitizing wipes to clean off the machines or weights once you use them.  Forget about it, he isn’t EVEN going to attempt to use them.

OMG without further ado!

The locker room flasher:

Ok where do I begin with this one...let me paint you a picture of my encounter.  So I leave work headed to the gym…la da dee la dad ah (that’s me humming).  I walk into the gym say hey to the employees “hey guys!” they say “hey how are ya?” back at me.  La da dee hmmm mmmmm open the door to the women’s locker room go around the corner to the locker area and WHAM greeted by butt nakedness! In my head I think…”Holy hell cover up” but I say nothing because honestly this is quite normal for a locker room right.  Well then it gets interesting…I am taking my coat off and placing items in the locker gathering my clothes to escape into the handicapped bathroom stall to change (yeah I’m that one…don’t judge me).  Before I could finish gathering my clothes I hear…” hey what’s up Toya?!” I look up to say “hello” but something happened my eyes looked up before I could speak and what they saw was the back shot view of a woman looking at me while drying her ankles off and looking at me from in between her legs…OK my face instantly looked like o_O all I could say was “oh nothing” and I dang near ran to the stall.  Where I had to then compose myself and mouth silently to myself “WTH was that?!” Then I have to come back to work or around the building and see you on a regular basis…FAIL!

Ok so prime rule for me…DO NOT TALK TO ME WHILE YOU ARE BUTT NAKED!! …well unless you’re the ROCK but ahem back to the subject…yes not cool.  I don’t want to talk to you as you are lifting your breast to dry sweat or water etc or while you’re putting on underwear.  Let’s just enjoy the silence and pick up the conversation once we are fully clothed to avoid any awkwardness.

Welp it's been fun dissecting the various personalities at the gym and sharing it with you but I gotta run...Blog ya later!