Well as promised here I am again…happy to see me? Well I’m
happy you decided to check in on little ol me.
So as I was telling you all I have been back hitting the gym pretty hard
I go at least 4 times a week. Twice I
week I go to a gym right next door to my job and two days a week I go to a gym
near my home. The two gyms while similar are different as well in their own regard. The characteristics
that we talked about before are still around…however, now being an avid goer I
have noticed other gym characters. 
Stinker…ok so we discussed this before the musty and overly
funky guys. The ones that probably stank to high hell before they even came
into the gym. Well ALAS they have been matched there are WOMEN who smell like
grown funky men! NOW I know what you’re thinking what do you expect it’s a gym
people are going to be stinky. OK please
know I get that and I understand…I feel you.
I'm sure when I am there I don’t smell like a bed of roses but, PLEASE
NOTE and please hear what I’m saying here and feel my pain…there is no way I
should be running on the treadmill and you are a row back and two machines over
and I can smell your funky tail! C’mon you can’t tell me that isn’t crazy and
again THIS IS A WOMAN (true story at the work gym). Even the guys cringe like geez. I really think she needs to get checked out
by her primary care physician. I’m just saying that’s crazy!
Puddle Leaver…
Now if you visit a gym sometimes or on a regular basis you
know that it is courteous to wipe down the equipment when you are done. So if I get done with a weight machines, bike
or treadmill etc then I should either
A) Wipe it down with my towel OR
B) Use
the cleaner the gym has to wipe the equipment off for the next person to use.
Well yeah I guess I come across the ones who were horrible
at following directions as a kid…because I get to some machines and the small
pools of sweat left behind…yeah not that's not hot! Do you want to hear something really
crazy…well at the other gym by work well the same lady stinky is horrible at
this! She doesn’t wipe anything off and BAM we know everywhere she has been.
Baptized in the funk I tell ya! So when you guys go please wipe the stuff off!
I’m sure you all have seen the Beauty Queen/Poser this would
be the one who comes in the gym with full make up on and hair down or all done up. Ok, now if that’s what you choose to do on purpose to come to the gym that’s
fine but if you are working out all that crap is going to begin to run all down in
your eyes and just have you looking like your melting.
You also have the poser…I just started seeing this recently
myself but not really much before….woman all in the mirror at the gym like…
Ladies please stop or not and I can keep laughing! LOL
Ok the let me get off the characteristics for just a second
(we will come back to it I promise)…but I have to cover the subject of gym equipment
and weight. An important part of gym etiquette at least in my book is when you
are done with a weight machine you should take the pin out or remove the
weight. I mean I know I’m bufft and all
LOL but yeah when I get on a machine and go to do an exercise odds are I can’t
handle the 2,000 lbs you guys left on. That one isn't that big a deal unless you are using a free
weight machine then it's rather annoying.
Ok moving on along something else that I see that frankly
cracks me up is…is…sorry I was giggling. Ok ok let me get it together…
People, when you are new to the whole workout thing please
learn how to properly use the equipment otherwise everyone quietly laughs at
you…you won’t see us but we snicker and it comes out typically with just a
smile and bless their hearts. They are as serious as a heart attack. I saw a
guy on this glute machine that looks like this…
OK when you get on the machine
your stomach/chest should be at the pad and you push back to work your glutes
like so….
Well, bless his heart lol this guy decided to put his back
on the pad and try to push with his foot facing the other way. Well he couldn't really do it because it wasn't made to do that, he was sweating up a storm and about to dislocate his
knee. I was watching from a chest press machine trying not to bust out
laughing. I gained my composure and just
walked over and pointed to the picture on the machine.
*side note* normally all work out equipment in the gym as a
graphic of some sort to show you how to work that particular piece of
equipment.
He then just looked at me and I walked off with music
blasting in my ears and headed to another machine.
In the same breath as it relates to using weights in the
gym…If you can do like 200 reps of something in like 30 seconds odd it’s too
light and you need to add more weight! This guy walks by me grinning like I’m
supposed to be impressed (I wasn't thinking about him I was getting my work out
on) anyways he goes over to do lat pulls like you see below…
I swear the weight I
used is more than that…and he grabbed the bar and no joke did like turbo reps
and warp speed…I’m like that can’t possibly be doing anything geez buddy, I know
sometimes you can go lighter weight and more reps but that was such a waste of
time. Then he looks back and me and smiles and I just had a look like o_O , I
have to be honest I usually see more women doing this then men.
On the other side of things having too much weight. You have
to push yourself…ok I get that but not to the point that you hurt yourself. Or
the weight is pulling you around. This
poor guy was using this pull down machine like you see here:
…it’s not funny but it is lol..he had so much weight he had
to stand up and almost swing to pull the weight down…well when he goes to go up
with the rep before pulling it back down…the weight pulled him up out of his
seat and almost ripped his arms out the socket. Let me be honest. I laughed
out loud at him, don’t judge me! He looked over at me and I coughed and played
it off.
OK one more funny weight story then we will move on and I
will wrap up…I promise…I just missed telling you guys these stories. So couple days ago this guy hops on the
hammer ab machine this machine you sit in and you pull down while pulling your
knees up to work your abs (pictured above). Well this machine honestly is a
beast, its difficult. I’ll be the first
to admit but ill also be the first to admit that I don’t get on there and throw
on 1000 lbs either. This guy gets on this
machine and has too much weight. By that
I mean I am on the leg press machine next to him in between songs I hear him
grunting and blowing all hard yet nothing was moving…his face was all red and
shaky. I’m like dude just lighten the
friggin weight but he was really straining it was quite hilarious. Sorry but it's true.
On the other side of things having too much weight. You have
to push yourself…ok I get that but not to the point that you hurt yourself. Or the weight is pulling
you around. This poor guy was using this
pull down machine like you see below…it’s not funny but it is lol..he had so
much weight he had to stand up and almost swing to pull the weight down…well
when he goes to go up with the rep before pulling it back down…the weight
pulled him up out of his seat and almost ripped his arms out the socket.
Ok back to some other gym characters…oh man I could on go and on…but
let me tell you about the Clingers. Ok
if you go to the gym and haven’t seen them next time you go you will see at
least one I promise. It's like the new thing….to see the incline on the
treadmill to aimed to Heaven and watch folks hold on for dear life trying not to fall off.
It’s one of the funniest people watching characters at the gym. They are
working those calves but most are slumped over clinging to the rails while
trying to read a magazine! BWhahahahahahahaha c’mon if this is you stop! You
look ridiculous!
Right way:
Wrong Way:
Ok, OK I will wrap it up there folks but as I go to the gym I
will have to come home and just shoot you guys a quick blog to give you a
laugh. OH wait before I go….I forgot one…the
folks who go to the gym in regular jeans and shirts. You
think yeah right no way! I’m
telling you they exist and man do they stick out like a sore thumb to see a
guy in jeans and a button up lifting weights or on the stationary bike…
it will make you question what you’re seeing.
Well hopefully I haven’t bored you to tears but gave you
some things to look for and find humor in when you go to the gym. Blog ya later
Lets not talk about the happy guys who frolick about the locker room, they wanna introduce themselves, make conversation, talk on their phones, stand in the mirror combing their hair, piss at the urinals, sit too close to you all with one tiny problem.... THEIR NAKED!! Dude? Put a towel on at least.
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