Friends, Love and the Election...Randomness!

Well hello again...nice to see you again. My you are looking well! What, you have a problem with my niceness then fine, I'll just say you look like hell! Is that better Mr/Ms. Pessimistic, lol just kidding but it is good to see you again.

I have been scattered brained again about what exactly I want to talk to you folks about...let's see, friends, love, the election.  Ehhhhh...nah I don't think any of those, yet at the same time all of those.  Have you ever just battled with yourself internally...well I do it on a constant basis and I tell you what I am one tough cookie!

I refuse to give up and I refuse to give and sometimes you have too! I refuse to let people dictate what I can and can't do...that makes me an angry rebel black sheep, I call it passionate for change.

I recently had a good friend of mine (shout out #TeamTurtle) tell me when it comes to love "you are just too picky" my response was you may be right.  He says "It's like you subconsciously look for stuff to discount folks and if you don't let down your defenses no one will ever be good enough."  Well of course rebel me was like "WHATEVER BUDDY" but real me was like "yeah I know I really need to be more conscious of that."

Moving on along...friends well I don't have many I really call friends yet the ones I do that are active are awesome! Shout out to you guys...I thank you for setting me straight when I am all over the place, being that shoulder to cry on when I need it as well as that ear to listen. I was a bit down and often envious of folks who had these undying long lasting friendships (I remember when I had those).  I wanted that but you know what God gives us what we need.  Strangely enough I was whining about not having any friends to a couple of friends! WTH?!  How insensitive of me, after I thought back on it! They are awesome friends and they must have  felt like chop suey hearing me whining and saying I don't have any friends....I'm sorry you guys even when you tick me off.  I LOVE YOU!!! (*side note* As I type my friend is sitting here randomly singing lyrics off key as all hell it's hilarious*)

You know we don't tell people we love them as much as we should then if something where to happen you are ready to throw yourself in moving traffic because you never told them how you felt about them or how much they have influenced your life etc.   So make sure you tell the ones you care about that you do care about them and what impact they have had on your life.  It would mean the world to them, I know it would mean to the world to me if I heard that.

Ok moving on along...the election...President Barack Obama will stay the president for 4 more year.... Get over it, move on, it is what it is!!

This blog is totally scattered and random and you know what...one word...WHATEVER lol anyways

Blog ya laters...

I know I Haven't blogged in 4 months but...

Wellllllll hello there...long time no read huh?
I know I know and before you guys go judging me just know I have had alot going on...haven't been focused on being able to sit still and blog.  Two words...my bad. Ok now that we have gotten all that out of the way...I bet you want to know what exciting topic has inspired me to blog. Well nothing in particular I need to get back into the swing of things...I will update my facebook status to something and think hmmm that would make an awesome blog topic. Then what do I do yup you guessed move on and forget.
Well I guess i'll give you a quick cliff notes version of what I have been up too the past few months...*Cracks knuckles*
Let's see I last blogged in December so lets pick up with the new year...

Flash back to January...

This was a mellow month then about half way through my angel in my life my grandmother, Marie Brown passed away Febuary 1.

I never imagined life without her such a rock in my life but its bitter sweet.  I want here with me but in the same breath I know she is in a much better place and if I don't have to worry about anyone going to Heaven its her.
This was a time for reflection to realize how important family and friends are. Also, to really know when you leave this Earth what impression are you leaving behind...that of greatness or mess? I choose greatness just like her! She was the best example of a non judgemental Christian ever! To know her was to love her.
Also, in January found out  a couple of my besties were pregnant! I'll be excited with those babies get here so I can go visit and steal baby cheeks and kisses.

February was mainly consumed by that..I have also this year started working out even more than I used too...its become the best stress reliever for me! I started the Insanity program,  It is super intense if you don't know what it is and you need a good workout I recommend it....www.insanity.com.  I also have been hitting the gym and playing my usual sports...
Oh so your reading this yeah yeah pick it up huh your used to me making you laugh not making you sad...I know I know...ok, ok





Well let's see...

I've had a couple inquires about what happened to ol #94 well I'm happy to report that ol #94 is doing just fine and is happily involved in a relationship. I am very happy for him.  He really deserves that happiness. We are still friends and that's what we are best at :)
No no don't act like aww man. It's a good thing,  Everything isn't for everybody and it was totally for the best at least as far as I am concerned. I may get an invite to his wedding, that'd be awesome. :)
Alright enough about #94 so your thinking well what about you?! Well what about me? ok ok enough with the beating around the bush...well I have been busy being swept off my feet. Yeah from previous posts you know that has not been an easy thing for the ninja is what I shall call him :) it's like he came out of no where!
It's strange how God works he always seems to give us what we need when we need it.  He just kinda snuck up on me but he is so awesome! Keeps me smiling, feeling special and always keeps it genuine and is very patient.  Even critiques me and gets on me when I'm wrong...pssshhh yeah like i'm ever wrong...just kidding! We have grown so close that honestly folks, I say to you...its scary, haven't felt this way in a lllloooooooooonnnnngggggggg time.  I just have to relax and enjoy the journey and see where it leads us.

What a lil taste of happiness looks like :) Thank you ninja! lol

Well that completes my update! OO OO before I forget...ill be having ankle surgery in June so I will be all laid up so guess who will be blogging like a crazy person!

Stay tuned I promise...I have a bunch of good stuff stewing in this disturbed brain oh mine! Until then peace!

Out of the normal but part of me!

I know this post may be out of the norm but I guess I tend to do that from time to time.  I have really been thinking today about my favorite weatherman here in Kansas City, Don Harman...he passed away yesterday and although the station isn't releasing reasons due to the family privacy it has been speculated that it was suicide.

Don Harman, the best and most hilarious meteorologist ever!

I read Facebook comments, Google + posts, tweets and listened to folks around the office say the usual "he was so happy and funny, I just can't believe he'd do that."  Although, I sure hope Don didn't commit suicide I also realize it's sad and possible.  I  have wondered all day if he did commit suicide, did he suffer from depression that perhaps no one knew about it?  Often those who don't or have never suffer from depression don't understand the condition and the feelings a person has associated with it.

I guess the reason why this hit home for me is I was diagnosed with depression last year.  People joke and laugh at the depression commercials but quite honestly they are accurate.  There have been several times (lasting weeks, months)  that I have felt empty inside, total loneliness, hopelessness, unloved etc and from my outside appearance i'm fine.  I even have jokes to throw out as to divert the attention off of my feelings so no one will know how inferior I feel etc. It's effected a lot of my relationships, negatively.

Depression is no joke! It doesn't mean a person is weak or anything like we tend to feel. It's taken me a while to realize that!

However, like any other disease or disorder you have to fight, sadly some folks don't have the fight in them and the depression wins and they end up taking their own lives, turns to drugs etc, or just living a miserable life. It is very tiring to deal with, I can attest to that.  In most cases you feel like you are running a mental and emotional marathon all day while on a roller coaster.  If that makes any sense.






I send my condolences and prayers  to the Harman Family and especially his daughter who won't really get to know how hilarious and talented her dad was in person and how many people he touched.  I have got a laugh from him everyday! I remember the news anchors would be reporting on a serious story and he would just randomly walk across the back drop in something random like a pirate hat like they weren't on air, then look surprised when they called him out lol! Or when the morning anchors had a rally insisting viewer write in so Don would get rid of his old beat up1979 Buick and he refused then thank goodness he finally let them destroy his car for charity and he was forced to get a new one and they had a party on air! Also, when he broke into normal broadcasting during a snow storm to update and he started off by saying "SLOW THE HELL DOWN that's why traffic is bad its snowing for crying out loud!" LOL, He will be deeply missed by our community!!

Now, if you think you are suffering from depression or are having anxiety issues, I urge you to talk to someone you can start with your doctor. Get a plan in place to battle it.  We can't let depression win and steal our happiness!! We must be victorious...to those who feel there is no end in sight... I say be encouraged! You are not alone even when you feel you are God is always, always with you! There are also several support groups etc. Please seek help and pray!!

Here are some links to information regarding depression and even tests to take online to see if you may be suffering from depression or on the road to it as well as suicide chat and hotline.

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175
http://www.depression-screening.org/depression_screen.cfm
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Blog ya later