You! Yes, You! You Need to Come Here & TRY THIS!

OK, so I am on a roll folks! Posting two blog entries in two days...SHUT UP (figure of speech)

OK, now let's get down to serious business! OK, mybe not, but we will get back to moments of pure silliness.  Now I normally don't share emails but this one was HILARIOUS to me. Why, you ask? Well because I could totally see myself being just like this retired husband.  Hey, who am I kidding I would do some of this stuff now and heck I already have! However it did give me a few ideas! I have added my own commentary inside the asterisks and of course we have to have graphics to make it even more hilarious! Hope this helps lifts your spirits or keeps your already up spirits up...wait did that make sense? Probably not, but you know what so what! HA! you don't like it feel free to call 1-800-WHO-CARES and press 1273940582030488 then wait for the next available rep! Now without further ado here is the email I wants to share that I received from a VERY special person who I will refer to as...*secret agent voice*.... Number..94

THE RETIRED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get

in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves

to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our

store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of

you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are

listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.   

**Sweet I did this to my mom before, tee hee**

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

**I am guilty of doing this in electronics but I set them to go off after the store was close so the folks opening would come in to plenty o' noise**

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.  **Making notes to do this one**

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to

leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that

in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and

costing the company money.  

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.  

**Love it I think I will try with twizzlers**

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 

**OMG Not funny but funny**

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from

the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and

screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.  

**For the record, I would totally do this!**

9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror

while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.  

**All you can do is shake your head on this one LOL!!**

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the

' Mission Impossible' theme.  

**Yup I have done that while riding in a cart...hey don't judge me!!**

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by

using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'  **NNIIIICCCCEEEEEE**

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed

a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then

yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the

clerks passed out.  **CLASSIC THIS IS A MUST TRY**

This story was hilarious to me.  I love to laugh at myself and not be so serious all the time! It will help your spirit! Try it sometimes! I dare you take one of these things and try it! I bet you will laugh!! OK, as all the famous people say..."Well that's my time! God Bless!!"

Blog ya later, remember keep your head up!

Sometimes Ish Just Ain't Funny!

I'm up late and been doing a lot of thinking...scary huh? Yeah I know, who are you telling! Well ya know my theme is I laugh to keep from crying.  We all have those days if you haven't then either your dead or in extreme denial or you friggin live in Care-Alot with the Care Bears, either way seek counseling but sometimes Ish just ain't funny!.

At any rate... you have those days when you wake up on the right side of the bed with a positive attitude and you seemed to get slapped in the face?  You turn the other cheek and  then you get slapped on that cheek too.  Well friends it happens to us all.  Sucks too, doesn't it! Well i'm here to tell you to be encouraged.  When things or people get you down rather it be personal life, family, friends whatever just hang in there! You are loved!! When you feel down do something nice for someone it will always cheer you up.  Rather its saying a kind word, sending an encouraging text (not a chain letter either grrrrrr) lol or helping out a friend or better yet a stranger, you will see yourself get your mojo back and hopefully begin to smile.  It's hard sometimes to say shake it off, but we have to try.  Otherwise we stay with that little black cloud over us in the rain and negativity is contagios.
We all go through trials and tribulations BUT after every storm the sun comes out and it seems to shine brighter than ever!  
We go through tests so we can have a testimony of where we have been what we have gone through but how we overcame it.  I am here to tell you , it wasn't you, SORRY.  It was only by God's mercy and grace! Rather you are a believer or not it is true and God loves you anyway.  The enemy is strong and will try to bring you down but God is stronger!
Keep striving to be the best YOU that you can be! Sometimes its not easy trust me I know but lets shoot for a positive spirit.  It will show in your life and to others who need to be uplifted! As the song says...my sunshine has come and there's no more rain in this cloud! Just be encouraged whatever you are going through big or small...you can and will get through it! I promise! Remember you can't have a positive life with a negative mind!
That was just in in my heart to blog...this is a journey I am on along with you friends!
...now my eyes are burning and I am going to sleep.  Aaaaand I'm probably going to be be dragging at work tomorrow . Blog ya later Amigos!

Blog from the Sanctity of my Comfy Couch...What Are You Holding on to?

I just had to share this with you all! Hilarious, but at the same time it clearly shows the simpleness of Donald Trump. It's amazing how some people are so dead set on things that don't matter just because they don't like a certain class of people, rather it be race, sex, political party, socio-economic status etc. Just a note to just stop! Agree to disagree on something and focus on things that really matter!

You know what though? In all honesty, we laugh and joke about it but don't we all do this to some extent? Let's be honest with ourselves here. I know I have. Now wait I'm not saying you or I have been judgmental of other as "The Donald" has. I mean we get stuck on something and just can't let go. Then we look back after time has passed like what in the world was I doing spinning my wheels wasting time on something that a) I couldn't change B) Didn't really matter or C) Both A and B. Another scary thought...how many of us are still holding on to something that doesn't matter? Just marinate and think on that! Remember live life and laugh often.

Often things from the past should remain just there! It's hard to move forward always looking back, makes it hard to progress. In a sense treat your past like a phone call "When the past calls, let it go to voice mail. It has nothing new to say." I think as emotional beings its hard for us to wipe the slate clean but for our own sanity we have to, even though that can be a lengthy process. But hey we have to start somewhere...right?

Ok, when I started typing this I had no clue where I was going with this since I have so much squished up in my big ol brain right now. LOL yeah I said big ol brain *blank stare* don't judge me! Hey we've talked about this you judging me issue previously now! LOL.

Moral of this blog...soul search if you are holding on to something that truly doesn't really matter or you really can't change it...do me a favor...no scratch that do YOU a favor! Let it go, move on! Your happiness awaits :) and once you clean the crap out of your heart it will leave room for all the good stuff headed your way!

Ok ya'll well that's my time! I must go prep dinner...what are we having? Oh well aren't you nosy....but lol I am making baked spaghetti with fresh Mozzarella yum right, I know!

Ok well I will leave you with another video from the same dinner from Seth Meyers...lol he ticked the Donald off talking about his hair! LOL

Blog ya later

Blog entry in the Land of Latte

Wow! So I have not updated my blog in quite sometime....whoa, horrible me huh? Yeah well, hey don't judge me! HA! Well I am attempting to do what all cool bloggers do..which is pitch camp at a coffee shop, pop open the ol netbook and get to going right? So... *ahem* at Latteland *check*, got my medium white chocolate mocha latte and super huge gourmet sugar cookie *check*, netbook powered up and connected to free wifi *check.* Ok, so I guess that makes me official (yeah i'm fancy)! HA, now that I have walked you through my set up, I've completely drawn a blank! My mind is just spiraling pit of ideas that have just evaded me! UGH! DANG IT!

AHA *thought popped in*, recently I took a picture of a picture, that's right! (again don't judge me) but it really caught me off guard! Captured a great concept/idea.

Ok so tell me you get it? If not its ok, I'll give you my take on it. Sometimes we start off looking on the bright side of life then somewhere along the road we lose site of that for whatever reason and often we go into worry/panic mode. Well at least this is what this simple picture that is playing on an eye exam chart says to me.

Not to go into my whole life story and struggle but I have been through some VERY trying times this past year that a weak person would buckle at easily! I lost site of looking on the bright side and when you do that you end up in a dark place and a negative person. Let me tell you not a good look at all! However, because I am a believer of Christ I know where to go to gain strength, patience and knowledge to get back on track so I did! So in the word of Bobby McFarren (I think that's his name) Don't Worry Be Happy! Well also in my recent bible meditation and reading I was studying on worrying and how that plagues us. I was reading in Matthew 6:34 it reads " Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." This touched me and was an eye opener for me as a believer of Christ to say.. hey, if I say, "God I'll let you handle it." I need to let him, he sure doesn't need my feeble attempt to help him do what he has already done!

Well I know usually I have jokes and that will come BUT alot of people around me are going through storms, big and small. Sometimes we all need a little encouragement and in the word of a great ideologist I know that I will refer to as the great Brigini "sometimes apathy goes along way!" May not mean much to you now but add that into your balance of life a little apathy and then you will totally get it!

Here is one more image I will leave you with...

Not a moment too soon!...This older gentleman at the tall table next to me is killing me playing solitaire on his laptop with all the sounds on...so I'll i've been hearing is the annoyng *Dink dink dink dink..* of him dragging and dropping cards then tada! when he wins! I just want to walk up to him give him the old *blank stare* and say sir #FAIL, now go on home with that! However, that thought has been drowned out by a college aged girl with a horrid lisp (spit city I can see it all the way over here when I look up). She is talking to a friend about another girl in the sorority house. #Gossip/Backstabbing now in progress. LOL, this has been quite the silent adventure. One guy just had an epic fail moment he got his coffee, scone, all cords for his computer pulled out..AHA! so he thought and WHAM no power cord and his laptop is dead as a door knob (*cringe* ooo feel for ya buddy). Nothing like hearing someone cuss themselves out! Pure hilariousness...wait is that a word?...ok, what did I tell you about the judging thing *blank stare.* Ok well blog you guys later...*dink dink* maybe even today *dink dink* see that even you guys hear that stupid solitaire game! Ok, like a burnt out light bulb...Be easy breezies! Stay blessed! I'm out!