Out of the normal but part of me!

I know this post may be out of the norm but I guess I tend to do that from time to time.  I have really been thinking today about my favorite weatherman here in Kansas City, Don Harman...he passed away yesterday and although the station isn't releasing reasons due to the family privacy it has been speculated that it was suicide.

Don Harman, the best and most hilarious meteorologist ever!

I read Facebook comments, Google + posts, tweets and listened to folks around the office say the usual "he was so happy and funny, I just can't believe he'd do that."  Although, I sure hope Don didn't commit suicide I also realize it's sad and possible.  I  have wondered all day if he did commit suicide, did he suffer from depression that perhaps no one knew about it?  Often those who don't or have never suffer from depression don't understand the condition and the feelings a person has associated with it.

I guess the reason why this hit home for me is I was diagnosed with depression last year.  People joke and laugh at the depression commercials but quite honestly they are accurate.  There have been several times (lasting weeks, months)  that I have felt empty inside, total loneliness, hopelessness, unloved etc and from my outside appearance i'm fine.  I even have jokes to throw out as to divert the attention off of my feelings so no one will know how inferior I feel etc. It's effected a lot of my relationships, negatively.

Depression is no joke! It doesn't mean a person is weak or anything like we tend to feel. It's taken me a while to realize that!

However, like any other disease or disorder you have to fight, sadly some folks don't have the fight in them and the depression wins and they end up taking their own lives, turns to drugs etc, or just living a miserable life. It is very tiring to deal with, I can attest to that.  In most cases you feel like you are running a mental and emotional marathon all day while on a roller coaster.  If that makes any sense.






I send my condolences and prayers  to the Harman Family and especially his daughter who won't really get to know how hilarious and talented her dad was in person and how many people he touched.  I have got a laugh from him everyday! I remember the news anchors would be reporting on a serious story and he would just randomly walk across the back drop in something random like a pirate hat like they weren't on air, then look surprised when they called him out lol! Or when the morning anchors had a rally insisting viewer write in so Don would get rid of his old beat up1979 Buick and he refused then thank goodness he finally let them destroy his car for charity and he was forced to get a new one and they had a party on air! Also, when he broke into normal broadcasting during a snow storm to update and he started off by saying "SLOW THE HELL DOWN that's why traffic is bad its snowing for crying out loud!" LOL, He will be deeply missed by our community!!

Now, if you think you are suffering from depression or are having anxiety issues, I urge you to talk to someone you can start with your doctor. Get a plan in place to battle it.  We can't let depression win and steal our happiness!! We must be victorious...to those who feel there is no end in sight... I say be encouraged! You are not alone even when you feel you are God is always, always with you! There are also several support groups etc. Please seek help and pray!!

Here are some links to information regarding depression and even tests to take online to see if you may be suffering from depression or on the road to it as well as suicide chat and hotline.

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175
http://www.depression-screening.org/depression_screen.cfm
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Blog ya later

Turkey Day Ettiquette: What type are you?!

Happy Turkey Day to everyone!! 

I hope you all enjoyed the day with family and/or friends! 

I went to my Uncle and Aunts house for thanksgiving dinner and met up with family.  Great! Now with that said, I realized there are several various types Thanksgiving food partakers (for lack of a better word). Here we go...

Hoarder:  Pile on as much as they can as fast and they can and hurry in the kitchen because I’m coming back as soon as I scarf this down

The Food Can’t Touch Eater: This person loves the food but oh boy if two foods touch on their plate they will have a melt down… (If you don’t think this person exist think again I watched the meltdown happen it was the most hilarious thing ever lol)

The Picky Eater: This is the person that walks around slowly peeking under pot tops, lifting aluminum foil, poking at food. The pick eater has to closely survey EVERY thing…then when they do fix their plate they only eat certain things. This person sometimes frowns upon others because they eat something that the Picky Eater does not.

The Dieter: This is the person that comes in and proclaims they are on a diet and they can only eat certain things and only a little of this and a little of that…*please note* by the end of the day this person has morphed into the Hoarder.

Bird Eater: This is the person that that will make a regular plate and for some reason they can never finish it.  You can usually find the Bird Eater with a lot of napkins around where they have chewed food and spit out or you might find their paper/Styrofoam plate face down in the trash as to not to alert anyone they didn’t eat all of their food.

The Mouth Wide Open Eater:  This is the person that could be one of the above however, since all the family is around the table perhaps swapping stories from past this person just has to chime in the only thing is…they have a mouth full of food! #FAIL usually bits of cornbread or some other food comes spewing out as everyone looks on with a blank stare. This person usually thinks the looks of everyone is because of their awesome story but it not on the contrary.

Grab & Go Eater: These are family members or friends that make it his or her own personal mission to see how many thanksgiving dinners they can make it too.  They usually eat a small amount (to leave room for other visits). They pack a plate like a hoarder and next thing you know they have their aluminum foiled wrapped plate, coat on  and they are waving goodbye to everyone while heading to their next target.

Last but not least…

The Desserter:  This is the person that is probably one of the above but will also partake in indulging in a hunkin piece of every desert and gluttonously groan, “mmm’s and ahh’s” while eating.

OK, so what type are you?  Are you willing to admit it :)

My truth:

       You know this time of year for me is a bit bittersweet for me.  When I was younger it was always so exciting… yeah but not so much anymore.  Wait, wait I know what your thinking don’t be like that…and I don’t mean in the horrible, but  the generation or generations before myself used to always make sure the family was gathered and everyone was in attendance.  Well that generation has grown a lot older some have gone to be with the Lord and others just can’t do it anymore.  I must be honest this saddens me.  A lot of my family has moved and we are all scattered.

      Now this is the second Thanksgiving I’ve had since my separation and divorce.  I have to honestly say,   I don’t miss that part  ¯\(ツ)/¯

Hey I’m just being honest…but it was the first holiday I was separated from my daughter…although it was only for 8 hours it seemed like a lifetime.  I did have a good time messing with my uncle and family though.

Ok funny story then I’ll wrap it up… you know I like to ramble. So I listen to the Rickey Smiley Morning Show every morning (its hilarious)…ok anyway Rickey is always mispronouncing words…so the morning crew incorporated a bell.  Anytime someone mispronounces a word they ring the bell.

Well yesterday scratch that my uncle is always mispronouncing words and proudly too (because he just knows he is right). For example…he said,  "I got on my computer and I STROLLED down and the stuff was gone." My facial expression at this point was -à o_O  I then tapped the bell said *ahem* you mean "scroll." The bell got quite a bit of use with him trying to say Bass Pro Shop...kept getting tongue tied! LOL...

Well the end of  my visit was when my uncle decide to tell us the story of how he remembers when he learned to walk! OK OK...

You remember when you were 10 months old and you are 52 yrs old now and don’t remember what you did last week! HILARIOUS!!! I love that guy! Always giving me a laugh!

Ok, Ok well that’s enough of my rambling! Again, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and now I shall clean and shop…hopefully all the crazy people who camped out for Black Friday sales have now gone home and I can just ease in and get what I need J

Be blessed! Blog ya later!

I Would Much Rather Shampoo My Hair with My Eyes Taped Open Letting the Shampoo Burn my Corneas' vs. Dating…Part 2 to I Would Much Rather Rip Out My Toenails vs. Dating Again...Life After Break Up or Divorce

*This blog post is dedicated to #94 who has never really left my side and has always been encouraging to me*

Well, here I am doing a part 2 to a blog post I did over a year ago…

Figured it was time to update you all…wait…not that you care but yeah, yeah my blog so you are forced to read! *evil laugh* mwhahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ok well let’s see guess you can say I tried all the things in the post previously so let’s recap from that shall we… 

First encounter

 Meeting someone at a store…well as I instructed at the end of that blog.  Don’t go looking let that person find you.  Here goes…

Well, I went into a local auto parts store in search of an item.  Well there was a certain gentleman who walked by and smiled.  Guess you could say he caught my eye.  Well of course me being the lady I am (psshh LOL I’m a total tomboy) *ahem* anyways I just smiled back.  I went about finding what I needed and proceeded to exit the store when all of a sudden I heard in a Latino accent “Bonita” well, well I thought hmmm I know what that means… (Beautiful) and I looked back and he was waving…I stopped we conversed. OK, blah, blah went on a date yada yada…Ok you wanna know how this turned out…

Happily ever after!! YYYYEAAAHHHHH RRIIIGGGHHHTTT NO!!! Stalker type! RED ALERT..RED ALERT. Nice dude but boy he was super dee duper clingy like a pair of jean after a water ride! 

For example, after one date you call me mid date at work saying “I MIIIIISSSSS YOOOOUUUUU”…ok I was holding the phone at work with this facial expression o_O like really? You have got to be kidding me?

After several attempts of evasiveness, unreturned phone calls, unanswered texts I finally again told him AGAIN, yeah I don’t think I’m ready for all this (which I really don’t think I was but even so after 1 day! Are you friggin kidding me #fail).

Next up:  Friend Set up

So I was chatting it up with an old friend and she was saying “hey I know a great guy for you.”  Me thinking to myself ummmm did I ask for you to set me up? In me, saying “hey what’s going on you with you did I inadvertently say “please set me up?” No? Ok I didn’t think so…anyways moving on along.  I said ok fine, whatever, who is he blah blah so she says can I give him your number…I say you most certainly cannot.  I said but you can give him my Google voice number (I shall go over this very important necessity at the end of this blog post). Anyways so he text and emailed me a picture…ok wwweeeeeelllll red flag number one.  The picture of was him far off sitting down! Whenever someone takes a picture that far off they are hiding something. Well I know what it was here…anyways. So I said well how you would describe yourself.  He said 6’2, tall (ok no kidding you said 6’2 anyways), ATHLETIC BUILD, honest, homebody etc.  I thought yeah ok. So he asked me out to lunch since we work in close proximity to one another.  Sure set up a meeting lunch date.  These are perfect! Why you ask I’ll tell you why because you have an hour to get to know someone. If you’re not feeling them then you can look forward to that hour ending vs. being on a date with an endless night all awkward.  Well first we met…remember a lil while ago I said he described himself as ATHLETIC BUILD…

Well apparently that was back in high school because this guy was two Twinkies from obesity!! Next up he said he was a homebody…the entire time he talked about clubs and liquor…two things that don’t excite me. So as I sat there trying not to be rude but man I was totally bored about of my mind.

You know after that I was like eh blah blah a few dates with others here and there.  Not bad guys but not anything I want and I felt I wasn’t ready and you know sometime we have to stop and be patient. Don’t force it. Let God guide us. Sometimes it takes us to be alone  and content with ourselves  to understand that! 

One main thing that I’ve had during my split and all other crap  is a really good friend! Actually the best friend in the world besides family.  When I went through everything he was there…I sat and thought about it and wow. Always a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. When I needed to be critiqued he or corrected he did so even if I got an attitude.  When I cried or was angry he was still there. Very attentive etc it’s funny how we take those things for granted.  Funny thing is I then developed feelings which then made me push him away and did things uncharacteristic of myself all to protect myself.  Well folks that’s what fear will do to you! Not proud of it but…is what it is I guess.

However, we recently had a conversation about Faith…and what that really means.  Faith I explained, is just believing. Well …this post will be a way I should you how one can step out on Faith…and say…

#94 you have been the bestest friend a girl could have…you have every trait that I want in a man and put up with me when you could have just written me off! Of course none of us are perfect…Lord knows I’m not. I have prayed long and hard on this and I know it’s time for me to step out on Faith as I speak about so often. Now,  I have made mistakes and not handled things in the best manner but I sure hope you have forgiven me. 

Ok, now I say all that to say this folks! Keep faith the one for you is looking for you or better yet look around he/she may be already by your side! Don’t wait til it’s too late! …Oh wait..I forgot to give you info to the dating must have…a lil invention called...

Google Voice is awesome…it allows you to have a phone number... whatever number you want that will ring to your phone or whatever phone you specify.  The beauty in it is the person never really truly has your phone number (also great for when you are signing up for stuff online etc) .  You can go online or use the mobile  app on your phone to block, text, get vmails etc. It’s awesome! Here is a link if you want to try it out…best of all its FREE!! https://www.google.com/voice

Blog ya later!!