Workplace: Are you Friggin Kiddin Me?!

Hey there again folks! I am yet again compelled to blog!! This time about 2 main issues that plague the work place. What might you ask? Compensation issues? Lack of Benefits? Office gossip? Well...NO...more important...

1. Work Place Bathroom etiquette and
2. Elevator riding etiquette

Workplace Etiquette: Bathroom Golden Rules

Rule #1 Please keep down the stink:

Your bathroom at home probably has a fan, and I bet you put it to good use. Your bathroom at work on the other hand eeehhhhh probably doesn’t though, which means everybody else in there with you and after you can smell what’s going on. If you think it might be an especially funk nasty trip, please courtesy flush*! Don’t look like that…you are saying "well people will know"…well hello you don’t think they smell that?! c’mon now! Smelling like you ate an entire cow the night before! Also if you leave skid marks in the stool. We don’t want to see that keep flushing till it’s all gone! Thanks!

*courtesy flush: Flushing the toilet at the exact moment of a smelly bowel movement hitting the water as to minimize lingering oders that may eminate off the perpatrating poo. Keeping the bowl poo free will keep the bathroom odor to a minimum. (Urban Dictionary.com)

#2 If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!
Ok people this one is age old! Wipe the toilet off…true enough I’m not putting my buttcheeks on a public toilet seat but eeehhhh some might. Plus that is beside the point no one wants to get there paper toilet seat cover wet either! So be mindful not nasty.

#3 For Unisexed Bathrooms
Guy s…PUT DOWN THE SEAT!! You never know what poor unsuspecting soul isn’t paying attention and then…wham!! Buttcheeks in the water! Trust me not a good look!

Rule #4 Wash your damn hands!!

You are not that busy!! STOP and wash your hands…with soap! You know what is what’s worse than seeing some stranger in a public bathroom leave without washing their hands? *Don’t worry, I’ll wait…*
...I’ll tell you…seeing somebody you work with do the same thing! Actually it’s worse because now you get to spend the whole day wondering what they are touching with their filthy, disgusting, germ-ridden boo boo hands on, and your hoping what they need to touch isn’t on your desk. Oh and low and behold you see them shake someone’s hand *cringe* ewwww. Ok I really don’t know why I even have to address this but give the number of socially inept non-washers I see in my field research on a day to day basis people still aren’t getting the message!

Don’t be any violators of the above or I will find you…lol.

Ok next topic on today’s docket is Elevator Etiquette. I think the first way to know what’s the right then to do is to identify what kind of elevator rider you are? Not sure? Oh let’s go over some of them shall we?

The Squeezer: A Full elevator opens up but they insist on squeezing in

This is the person that when you are cramped in a packed elevator, the door open and this person insists on squeezing in. Usually you hear this statement…”Oooo full house huh? Ehhh well I think I can squeeze in here. Also in most cases the squeezer is usually about 250lbs and up. If this is you: STOP IT wait on the next one man!

Mr/Ms. Lazy:

This is the person that has no physical impairments, not moving a cart, not carrying a lot and they are going up 1 or 2 floors. Really? Is this you? Stop being lazy get the exercise hit the stairs its only one or two flights. Oh please note you may also get a “squeezer lazy person” Truly sad people…

Mr/Ms. Button Pusher:

This is the person that is waiting on the elevator or is in the elevator and they rigously push the up or down button or the floor they are going too like a mad person. Ok newsflash dork just because you keep pushing it doesn’t mean the elevator is going into warp speed.
Mr/Ms. Stink & Run:

This is the nasty person that waits till right before they get off the elevator to poot or belch and get off leaving the stench behind. It really sucks if you’re the only one on the elevator then it stops at another floor gain riders and they think it’s you that let lose.

Mr/Ms. ClausterPhobic:

is the person that stand with there nose to the elevator doors damn near clawing to get out and escape. Calm down dude the doors will open. If this is you two words…Seek Help!

Mr/Ms. Impatient:

This is the person that is in “such a rush” that they will plow down anyone getting onto the elevator, who care there are people exiting the elevator..well Mr/Ms Impatient sure doesn’t care. This person usually morphs into Mr/Ms Button Pusher once on the elevator. Is this is you: Calm down geez!

Mr/Ms Butthole:

This is the person that I despise. You need Jesus is what you need meanie!. This is the person that sees you coming sometimes sees you running and pushes the close button. You sir or ma’am are an ass. That is all

Mr/Ms Too Friendly:

This person is quiet the opposite of Mr/Ms. Butthole but ends up being a butthole too. This is the person that keeps the door open to chit chat. I mean the door is buzzing trying to close because its been open so long, but they have to stay on and keep the door open to talk about the weekend or their kids etc. Meanwhile everyone on the elevator is giving them the *blank stare* and just wants to kick them in the back out the elevator and let the doors close. If this is you: just step off to talk and catch the another one.

Mr/Ms Confused:

Ok Ok this person typically is a visitor we know but doesn’t make them any less annoying. This is the person that says I’m going to the 8^th flr *pushes button* oh wait no no I think its 12 *pushes button* nnaaahhhh I think the sign said 13 or 14 hmm *pushes both buttons* Meanwhile your eyes have grown to the size of saucers and you mouth silently “WTH man” as soon as you do that you hear *ding* they say oh look it is 8. Too bad you are going to the 20^th floor now you have to stop at all those floors Mr/Ms Confused pushed.

Now that you have identified your type…the thing to do is, not to do it! Be mindful of other riders!

Moral of the blog can be summed up in one word…COURTESY if you are not then try it! You laugh ha ha ha but these are all things you know you can identify with. Until next time...

Random WTH's We Encounter Everyday

Ok first of all I guess I should define what the acronym WTH is...well it means 'what the hell?!' It is a term that I use quite often...can't help it. One more I should familiarize you with is 'smh' which means 'shaking my head.' Ok now I will give you a couple examples to make sure you are comfortable and get it.

Example #1: = WTH or SMH?! Get it? Ok good.

Example #2 =WTH or an SMH.

***********************************************************************************

Ok now that we have the linguistics out the way. Let's get to the topic at hand... some random everyday things that make you go WTH?! or just smh.

#1 SKINNY JEANS especially on guys!

<---thats gotta hurt...

OK OMG!!! This is such a bad look that I wish would just die and go back to where it came from. I mean on what planet do these look right? I cannot believe guys are even going for those but I guess they want to be on the cutting edge of fashion, but these bad boys looks like they are on the cutting edge of something alright, something that will hurt if you move too fast the wrong way.

Part 2 to Skinny Jean...lol Sagging Skinny Jeans...

Ok this is a big WTH?! Really fella's does this look right to you? Not a good look...I repeat...not a good look!

Two big problems here...

#1 They are saggin skinny jeans

#2 The 80's multiple colors with the matching shoes...really?! You gunna do that huh? In twitter world this would be known as an #UtterFail and an over all hot mess. So skinny jeans overall get a big fat WTH?!

#2 Natural Hair : It is not for everyone

Yeah I said it!! And...? If you are not going to keep it up or if it just looks a mess then don't do it!! If your hair looks like it could be featured in the movie Saw as one of Jigsaws traps then you need to do something different. This topic is not exclusive to any one group of people.

Look at these WTH?! Natural Hair styles...

< 'Really home girl needs to part and grease. Come on now.'

Wow I can honestly say I didn't think a white guys hair could look like this...Did he stick his finger in a socket or what? WTH?!


Last but not least look at this, there is no caption to capture the essence of the WTH-ness...

I mean look at this what really can you say?! Other than WTH?! What crawled up in his head and died?!

#2 Hair Part 2: Styles

OK so the natural hair is getting out of hand on some folks but the some of these hairstyles period are just a bit outlandish and just simply put look like 'who did it and what for?!' Don't believe me? Oh well let me show you then. Mr or Ms/Mrs Doubty pants...I double triple dog dare you not to say WTH?! Can you do it...? Here we go...

Even the lady in the background is looking at her like WTH?!

Yeah not sure what that is...other than WTH?!

This right here is hotmessness taken to a whole nother level...not sure if that is a real word but whatever...ya heard it here first folks. WTH?!

smh folks

#3 Tattoos

I am probably in the minor regarding tattoos. I have none "and why?" you ask. Well i'm not a needle person so I deal with them when I have too, BUT for me to pay someone to dig in my skin with a needle?! Well let's just say I'm good on that, I'll pass. However, just because I don't have any doesn't mean I don't know a hot mess when I see one. Curious as to what I am talking about, well let's dive in shall we?

Tattoo fau paux #1

Bad artwork...really folks this is a permanent thing on your body how about you check out the tattoo artist before you sit down and let them go to work diggin in your skin with ink. Otherwise, you might end up like this poor guy...

Tattoo faux paux #2

Tackiness…this is just a common sense thing, I think. This is one of those things where you sit down in the chair and you think... “self do I really want to tattoo this on my body which I have to look at all the time (unless it’s on your back) and that's permanent, hmm do I?” Well some people are just idiots, do it anyway and then end up with tattoos like this…which get a WTH and a SMH.

Really dude you love your genitals sooooo much you had to get them tattooed on under your armpit…*blank stare*…RRRIIIGGGHHHHTTT! WTH?! Someone should just put baby powder all over their hands and just smack hip across the face. SMH!

Tattoo of a woman’s open legs…this right here is a sure sign of someone who isn’t getting any if he needs this tattoo…I’m just saying. I hope he doesn’t have any daughters how do you possible explain that one?

Tattoo faux paux #3

Skin tone.,.yeah I SAID IT!! If you are as dark as an asphalt road and want a tattoo you need to :

A) Pay the extra money for the white ink they have or

B) Just don’t waste your money.

Why you ask? Well because who can see that?! Yeah even your squinting to see it and then you got color HA can’t see that either. Again…WTH?! I'm just being honest.

Prime example here folks…Shaq. We love Shaq yes we do…BUT, can you tell me what that tattoo say or what it is a picture of? Hmmm….Don’t worry I’ll wait…*taps foot patiently*. I’m just saying.

Tattoo faux paux #4
Spell Check anyone? Ok, it’s one idiotic thing to get a girlfriend or boyfriend’s name tattooed on you or to get your favorite saying etc. BUT dude c’mon at least make sure your tattoo artist AT LEAST has a GED and can spell or you will end up like this WTH tattoos. SMH

<Really dude don't you just look cool...NOT BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bless his heart!

Awww he wanted to tell the world how awesome he is and now they know how not awesome he is and the fact that he’s a little special because he has a misspelled tattoo on his back. Sheer comedy I tell you. WTH?!

...Coming up next blog: Bathroom & Elevator Etiquette at Work

A Weird is Normal Poetic Moment

Well the first few blogs came with humor and a message. This one comes the same way buuuuuttt not with as much humor but still a message. This entry is more heart felt. Sometimes I get deep in thought and reflection. Often about life, love and what God has in store for me. Often times we struggle mentally and emotionally with those things. I use poetry as an outlet for these things. Now I am no Maya Angelou but decided to share my poetic thoughts. Just decided to post a couple of poems that I wrote from the heart a few years ago (but they still prove true today). One of them is titled I laugh to keep from cryinig which is how I came up with my blog name. Well here goes. I hope you enjoy....

Laugh 2 Keep from Crying

I'm trying so hard to do what's right,

beaten down like I've been in a fight,

but you could never tell...

I'm going through hell

so many obligations and so many resctrictions

but it's ok I'll get over my conflictions

when you see me I'm silly, laughing and joking

but let me let you in on a secret...

I laugh to keep from crying

I've been through family and friends dying

spouse and good friends lying

making myself a success...

I'm really trying

but I just pray

and I just laugh to keep from crying

I'm struggling to stay up

because people and this world are so corrupt

I'm making ends meet

and we'll end up on our feet

God may let me bend yet never break

He won't put more on me than I can take...

I have that faith but when it gets hard
I just keep my head up and...

Laugh to keep from crying.

Mind Complexities

When you look in my mind, whatever you seek, I hope you find,

Be careful, my ming will engulf, tantalite and confuse you,

Have you in a daze no clue what to do, have you zonin' out,

Wonderin' what this life is all about, enter my cranial flow,
You sure you wanna go? Once you enter your mind will blow,

Like a harsh wind during a thunderstorm,

But don't look surprised because you were warned,

Told all of this ahead of time that when you enter my thoughts

they will blow your mind, deep unclear juxtaposed thoughts,

Contemplating one another, but I know my love for God and none other,

The one I chose, my heart lye's with, never once have I played tricks,

I ignite minds with my heart and soul, these things I must unfold,

Not looking for pampering and charity, but instead providing clarity,

Never realized I could flow with such cluster of words,

Dropping emotions in ways never thought of or heard,

That's because it's the speech of the soul, the language of the heart,

A new communication I'm gunna start, well not me,

The language has lingered and lived an eternity,

Allowing my emotions to soar, foolishness no more,

Pure in my mind down to my core,

Good sensations bring fascination with my interpretation, of love,

Which can bring things to the mind never thought of, bad thoughts I leave,

Now in my cerebrum you have traveled, now entwined,

Can you unravel, out of my mind? our of the mental dimensions of me,

To escape back to reality.

Until next time...Thanks for stopping by and I hope ya'll come back nah! Ya hear!?

What the Hell are They Talking About in Music Today...

Ok, Ok, I just felt compelled to post this blog...maybe you agree maybe you don't. Who knows, but guess what? It's my blog so ha ha!! Juuuuuust kidding. At any rate getting back to the reasons I felt compelled to post this blog regarding some of the music today is the following:

I can't listen to the radio with my child in the car without having to change the channel because of the lyrics of some of the music allowed on the radio. Now I understand the whole freedom of speech, I get that...Lord knows I have some stuff in my ipod that is not "kid friendly," however I listen to it without my child around. BUT the radio is public, it's sad that some of these songs are played around the time kids are going to school or getting out of school. Which leaves some parents riding in silence, popping in a CD or turning on a iPod. Why you ask? Well, because I don't know about you, but I don't want my kid singing Rude Boy by Rihanna talking about 'Getting it up'...She is 4. Or the 'neighbors know my name' by Trey Songz?! Are you kidding me! We have to do better as a society we say we care about our children but we need to show it. Some lyrics get through that are so not child appropriate, now im not saying it needs to be Radio Disney but c'mon. How many kids know every word to Lil Wayne's CD but don't even know their ABC's. Maybe have certain times of the day to play certain songs...I don't know...but that is not what this blog is solely about so let's move on to the next main topic...

Lyrical content...Which is the main theme. What the hell are some of these artist talking about...I mean...come on really?! Either every other word is a cuss word or its just so vulger that it would make a sailor blush. I listen to songs with cussing but when every other word is s&^% or F*&^ or P*^&( then you lose me). Besides the song should tell a story about something but I guess with some sort of class. But hey what do I know...pssssshhhhh class what's that?! So you still confused about what I am talking about well lets do a brief review of 3 songs I have chosen . I will post the lyrics and even the youtube videos for your laughing I mean listening pleasure (actually pretty sad). So ridiculous that you laugh because its soo pathetic... Ready? Ok, after you...llleetttt's go...

Pregnant Lyrics: R.Kelly, Tyrese, Robin Thicke, The Dream

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant, Knock you up

Can you believe I’m in the club with a girl who has a man,
And take her to the hotel for just a one night stand,
See I’m a playa so I ain’t tryna take her on no dates,
To much like my patrone man I’m just tryna take it straight,
Untill I met this girl in the club with an unbelievable booty,
Sweetest girl in the world and I mean it and on top of that shes a cutie,
I ain’t seen nothing like her around here in a while,
And if I had a girl she’d be the one to bear my child,
Telling myself I’m a playa so I keep tryna shake it off,
But I keep on seeing this big old house with a picket fence and a dog,
Never felt nothing like this,
Shes more than a mistress enough to handle my buisness,
Now put that girl in my kitchen,

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
That’s what I told her,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Like you are,
Knock you up, pregnant,

All the pretty ladies please line up right next to me,
How would you like to go on a little trip with your boy Tyrese,
Raise your hand if you want me to fulfill your fantasy,
I can hide your co-star and get in one of my new wiis,
Tell me what your name is,
I can make you famous,
We can pop champagne and get right down to sexing,
Now I ain’t got nothing to do tonight I gotta wait for my crew,
I just wanna put some in you,
And I can tell that you want it too,
And I’m ready babe,
And your ready babe,
So let’s go get out of this club,
Kel’s and Rys after party,
You can F*** with us,

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant.

Ok now honestly after reading that..aren't you like...

I know I was when I first heard this mess. Oh but it gets worse you don't believe me...ok Ill keep going...

Next up...a song that makes absolutely no sense but out of the nonsense is one phrase to demean women! WWWHHHHYYYYYY does this get air time....HHHHHOOOOOWWWWW are they getting paid off this mess...Im not being a hater Im simply saying are you friggin kidding me...really?!

Shorty Da Kidd ft. Loudy -
Wah Wah Wow
AYE THIS YO BOY LOUDY ON THE TRACK AND I GOT THE PRINCE OF THE CITY WIT ME TELLEM SHORTY YES SIR NIGGAS TRYNA JOC MY STYLE OK I SEE THEM NIGGAS TRYNA JOC MY NIGGAS OK I SEE THEM NIGGAS TRYNA JOC MY STYLE AYE WHAT THEY YELLIN OUT ITS GCB

CHORUS
AYE MAN WE HIT EM WITH THAT WAH WAH WOW WAH WAH WOW WOW WOW WAH WAH WOW OL RATCHET ASS HOE RATCHET ASS HO RATCHET ASS HO RATCHET ASS HO

VERSE 1

AYE SEE YEAH ME MAN I KNOW THEM GURLS THAT COULD BE RATCHET WHOLE GC DONE BEAT IT ON THAT MATTRESS AYE YO I HEAR THEM HATERZ JOCCIN PLEASE ITS GCB WE TELLIN GET OFF OF THESE BEATS IN YO EAR YO LOUDY I GOT MY SWAGG UP AND WHEN I STEP UP IN THE CLUB IM GETTIN HELLAS SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES AND SHE SAY MY PAPER ADD UP SO I TELL HER DIVIDE MY POLE LIKE ITS BAD LUCK HOLD ON HOLD ON MOE HOLD ON MOE YOU DONT WANNA SAY NO MO NIGGAS TALK QUICK BUT THEY MOVE SLO MO AINT SAYIN NO NAMES BUT WHO DONT KNOW HOLD ON HOLD ON MOE HOLD ON MOE WHAT YOU WANNA DO BETTA COME EQUIPT WITH A CLICK THAT THICK IF YOU REALLY WANNA TRIP IMA SHOW YOU WHAT MY CLICK GONE DO

CHORUS

VERSE 2

AYE YO IT STARTED AT THE RIO AMP, ACE ,ZOE, LAST , C-SQUARE AND THEO NOW EVERYWHERE THAT WE GO THEY THROWIN UP THEY HANDS THEY KNOW ITS GCB SO THEY BE LIKE DO YO DANCE WAH WAH WOW JAY J I GOT EM KRAZY, NICKY NICK, SNAKE SHEAUN, YAYA, AND HB NOW LOOK AROUND I CAN SEE WHY THEY HATE ME CUZ GC IS LIKE TV IN HD WAH WAH WOW SHOUT OUT TO MY HOMIIE T-RELL MESSIN WIT US MAN YOU BETTA GAURD YO FEMALES YOU SHRIM NIGGAS YOU GET HIT WITH THEM SEA SHELLS AND WELL LET YO FAMILY KNOW VIA E-MAIL WAH WAH WOW WHEN WE STEP UP IN THE PARTY LIGHT SKINNED GIRLS RUN UP TO YO NIGGA SHORTY DARK SKINNED GURLS RUN UP TO MY NIGGA LOUDY WHEN THE CLUB IS WAY TO OVER CROWDED



Ok and if those two were not bad enough...this one takes the cake!! I mean really who does this...I would hope as women we would have more respect. If not, at least don't publicize it...sweet Jesus. No man is worth all that! You are wondering in what I am referring too? Well without further ado...


Let Me Smell Yo Dick by: Riskay
(Opening)
Nigga this the fifth teeth muthafuckin time that I called and left yo ass messages
I dun text yo bitch ass and you aint responded to nothing
What the fuck is you doin who tha fuck you out there with you think I'm stupid my girls dun already put me up on yo ass tonight night nigga when you get home I got som news foe yo bitch ass

(Chorus 2times)
Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

(Hook 1)
It's four o'clock and I'm sleepin' and it's late night and you creeping you could've told me I'm leavin' now I know you out there cheatin' why you got to do me like dat when I call you don't call me back I'm texting you now nigga where you at that's fucked up why you do me like dat

(Verse 1)
I'm dead sleep and you trickin'
In the club wit dirty foot bitches
My gurl was there she witness
She had a camera phone she took pictures
You was on the dance flo grindin'
With a stripper hoe named Diamond
You was flossin' hard you was shinning
Everything she drink you buyin' it
Fuck nigga you need to stop lien' foe I get mad and pull out my nine
You want a new bitch to fuck that's fine but don't fuck hers and try to fuck mine
You keep tellin me you ain't touch her but some keep tellin me you dun fucked her and I ain't that bitch you want to play wit nigga drop them boxers let me smell yo dick

(Chours 2tyms)
Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

(Unknown)
Smell my dick wait a minute hold up see that's how a bitch get her eyes swoll up and I don't give a damn what yo homegurls seen when I was in the club what the fuck you mean they ain't got no business eyein' me like dat
You ain't got no business tryin' me like dat
I wun even feelin' Diamond like dat I was wildin' but I wasn't clowin' like dat
Dat's alright dat's okay gon head believe what yo homegurl say a nigga like me drink a lot of liquor meet a lot of bitchs take a lot of pictures
I might break bread wit one or two strippers but that don't mean you got to pull my zipper
Thinking I dick down the whole town even though I got dick to go around

(Chorus 2times)
Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick.

Ok so honestly tell me your thinking...

I know I am!! What in the friggin world?! The music world is flooded with this mess! Its not just contained to RnB and Rap. Please don't get it twisted I have heard some crazy Rock songs encouraging suicide and country songs about depression an violence as well. I just chose these three since these are genres I listen too. Please, please people we have got to do better in the music we make and as consumers where we put our money!