The Latest Dumb Revolution... The Side Chick Revolution

Hey all,

It’s been a while I know but you know we always go through this song and dance. I know by now you all don’t judge me for that. I have been honestly avoiding all writings on the computer or even in my journal. Well sometimes I think when I want to blog about stuff will you guys even really care or not.  I don’t know I think it was like my own subconscious protest of not dealing with some things but eh I digress.

Yeah well regardless of that I’m here.  Hope everyone had an AWESOME holiday season and a good new year. If you are reading this congrats you made it to 2014.

Now I want to address something that has utterly irks me.  This "Side Chick Movement."

Let’s jump back in time for a minute. 

Since as long as we can remember there have been mistresses and unfaithful partners. Now I can’t speak back to the days of Marilyn Monroe and how that all played out when she was a mistress but one thing that has irked me beyond belief is that today  (2014)  being a “mistress” or “other woman” is glorified.

Is this a new concept? Well of course not!

HOWEVER, now it’s like the “in” thing and it’s pushed on us as acceptable to be the new age “Side Chick.”

We see celebrities who have been exposed as side chicks who have broken up marriages. Now of course those celebrities have the same excuses as the average side chick they are no different.  They say things like “I couldn't take him if he wasn't ready to go” or “that’s on him not me, not my problem.”  etc, that's crap you are both as wrong as two left shoes!!

I’m sorry what the hell kind of retarded thinking is that?!

Talk about lack of respect for yourself. I guess I would hope you would love yourself enough to know you deserve a whole man not a piece of someone else’s. Why would you even want that for yourself? There are enough single men without you going for one that’s involved.

Now that it has become such a glorified deal Hollywood is cashing in on it with shows like Scandal, Being Mary Jane, where these successful women who seem strong fall super weak in the relationship category by taking the side chick seat to married men. 

Also, music makes it the cool thing to do. Songs about side chicks and faithful ones at that. They demean us and we seem to be OK with that.  Just listen to this song below. This song talks about he takes care of his side chick and his wife knows about her etc.  Side chicks are basically OK with sharing and can be bought. I don't know about you but nothing about this or this song is cute to me.  This isn't the first song about the side chicks they date back and are in all genres. Sugarland has a song called Stay, Shirley Murdock back in the 80's had As We Lay, about a woman who knew she was with someone else's man but she had him for that one night and she was emotional about it.  This is not a new problem but now is no longer seen as a problem but not it's seen as the "cool and acceptable" thing.

Now I know there are some situations that take place where one may not be aware she is a side chick. I’m not referring to that group but I will say this… in some instances YOU ALL KNOW!!! STOP being blind all the signs are there that you are a side piece but you insist that he loves you etc. C’mon WAKE UP!!

Then there are the some women that seek out married men that way they don’t have to be committed and get them to take care of them financially and buy them things etc…. ok *PAUSE*

WHAT THE ENTIRE EFF SERIOUSLY?!

Ladies, are we only worth what someone can buy us? Are we so desperate for love that we will lure another woman’s man into our bed? Is our self-respect so low that we will forego being seen in public, spending holidays etc  because he is married?!

Meanwhile, let me let you in on something men are loving it!! They have jokes for days.  Not all of them but a lot of them are LOVING every minute of it. in this day and age they can have an eager side chick that will sleep with them and in some cases take care of them financially and shower them with gifts but always stay in her place.  On the side quiet as a mouse. Just thinking about it blows me away.  BLOWS ME AWAY.

Then there is the one who has really fallen for the taken man. You are patiently waiting for him to leave his wife or significant other for you. You are all faithful to him, and then get upset when you find out there is another side chick and that he isn't being faithful to you.

WELL DAMN hello he isn't being faithful to his WIFE or Girlfriend.  This is I think one of the worst case of unhealthy delusion.  Well let’s entertain this for a second…he leaves her for you.  Now you cannot tell me that you are secure with him. You know what he is capable of so then you become captain insecurity which isn't healthy at all. Hey just look at Fantasia. There are a few cases that seem to have worked out but that is what we see on the outside, but why even go through all that unnecessarily.

Also, let me address this as well. Is it all our fault and men have no part in it. NOPE, not saying that at all but right now I am only speaking for my own gender. Speaking to my sisters no matter the age, color etc. I know we can do better, I know we can want better, I know we deserve better. 

THE SIDE CHICK REVOLUTION MUST END!!

There are signs that you must pay attention to when you are dating someone that will tell you if they are trying to put you on the side chick team. 

• He hits you with the “I need my time and space”, this leaves the door open to come and go as he pleases.  He will expect you to wait in the wings. If not, you will be dismissed as being to clingy, pushy etc. If this happens, count it as a blessing that you dodged a bullet and move on.

• When you call you get sent to voice mail instantly. This is going to be in a time-frame when you know he is most likely available, not while you know he is working or something of that nature.  You may get an instant follow up text saying “can’t talk now, call you later.” Now do people get busy, of course! This is example is for extreme cases meaning this happens more often than not. Just pay attention.

Here are some other indicators as blogged by  www.seriously-maybe.com:

His phone is usually uncharged, about to die or out of service 
If 90% of the time you call him it goes straight to voicemail, you’re the side chick. This correlates to his phone never ringing. He could be with someone else at the time and can’t pick up the phone to talk to you, so he turns it off. No one carries around a dead phone all the time.

His compliments are focused around physical appearance
If the only nice things he has to say about you is centered around the way you look or your performance, you’re the sexy side chick. This guy is obviously only into you for your body. Most people think that guys are one track minded, so compliments only surrounding sex, make sense. But the truth is that we actually think about other stuff too. So if you say something somewhat intelligent and his reply is, “Your lips are so cute” chances are you’re not the chick that he listens to.

Dates are never last minute
If ALL your dates are planned at least a week in advanced, he has other chicks on his schedule. He probably sets aside a day just for his side chicks. If you’re not already in the books for that day on the current week, he makes you wait until the following week, before he’s “free” again.

Dates are closer to your home/work than his
If you’ve never been out to a place that’s in the vicinity of his job or home, you’re the side chick. He never takes you to those places because he doesn’t want to risk the chance of running into something that may know about his other chick(s). Next time you go out with him, suggest a place near his home and see he what says.

He’s never disappointed angry upset when you cancel on him
If he could care less whether he sees you are not, you’re the side chick. Things come up all the time and you may have to cancel a date with him. If he is too cool about not seeing you, he definitely has someone else to occupy his time.

Masetv.com  blogs a list of traits as well, some of the following which I find to be accurate.

He tells you that he doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day or really do holidays. In some instances this may be true but more often than not, A LIE.

He has absolutely NO pictures of you, or with you, on his Facebook or Instagram page. If someone can go to your social profile and see a variety of pics of you with him, and go to his page and find only his selfies and bro pics, then know for sure that he doesn’t have you listed as his first priority.  Now my caveat to this  one is really only accurate if a person is active on social media some people really are not, however again keep an eye out but don’t be a stalker just pay attention and observe.

There are no dates….you only visit his bedroom and go home. Let me add or he comes and chills at your place.

He only contacts you when he wants something.

@JoannaSimkin on twitter tweets you may be a side chick if he says:

“It’s not that I don’t want people to know about us, I just don’t like my personal business in the streets is all.”

Now after all that if you still are not sure if you are side chick here is another link that may help:

http://brotherswithnogame.com/blog/signs-you-may-just-be-the-side-chick/

Ladies, we are STRONG, we are FIERCE. Let me leave you with a question.

At what point does this stop? Or does it? At what point do we feel we are worth more?

Demand respect!

Yup, that's me

This is just my opinion on the subject and I could on and on but just wanted to let that all out and see what you all think. Feel free to chime in.

Blog ya later!

A Quick Review of the Clouds: A Quick Way to Keep Your Music Library With You

Well hello again...glad to see ya...

 Now this post may be a little different from the norm but bear with me. It should be very insightful for you well at least I’m hoping.  If not…don’t judge me Mr/Ms. Know it all! HA HA HA!

Ok let’s hop to it. 

I often make mention of my cloud…and usually I am greeted with a look of confusion so…let’s start there.

What is a cloud?

Well according to the infamous Wikipedia it’s… “a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals made of water and/or various chemicals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of a planetary body.”

Ok now that is the text book term for those fluffy white poofs in the sky (yeah I said poofs…whatever!) at any rate that’s all great, however, that is not the type of cloud to which I am referring. 

Clouds are a new way technology is allowing us to store and retrieve information without using up space on our devices (i.e. computers, smart phones, tablets etc).  It’s also referred to as Cloud Computing. According to InfoWorld… “Cloud computing providers deliver applications via the internet, which are accessed from and desktop and mobile apps, while the business software and data are stored on servers at a remote location.”

Now these clouds are used by all and for personal as well as business use.  This post will be basically regarding the personal use and music. 

Now I mainly use my clouds to store music some use it for videos and pictures as well.  I have around 5,000-6,000 songs in my cloud and growing.  Of course if I stored that on my Smartphone, iPod, tablet etc depending on size I would be out of space and in some cases unable to store it all.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want that hogging up all my device space.  Well that’s where the awesomeness of the cloud comes in.  You simply find a cloud service you like…(I’ll go over those in a second).  You then simply upload the music library from your computer into the cloud.  Most of the cloud services have an app for your Smartphone you download the corresponding app for your cloud sign in and BAM where ever you are you have access to stream you own music where ever without taking up phone on your respective device.

The companies that are providing cloud services are growing by the day…but I’ll go over some of the more popular ones to give you a sense of how they operate.

First up is Amazon Cloud Service:

Now with Amazon you get 5gb of storage for free.  This will allow you to store about 1,000 songs.  There is a mobile app for this if you have an Android or Blackberry. Unfortunately Apple doesn’t have an application for this any longer it was yanked from the Apple Store since of course Apple kills anything that tried to compete with it.  So if you want to use this service on your iPhone you will have to go through your safari web browser.

Pros: Easy to use, if you buy a CD from Amazon they will update your cloud to unlimited to storage for a year.  You can share what your listening to with your social network site.

Cons: Once you put music into it you cannot alter your music tracks.  i.e. you have songs listed as Track 1 and you want to give them the correct name you’ll have to delete it from your cloud.  Fix it on your computer then upload again.

If you are interested in this cloud service you can get more info or set it up here:

https://www.amazon.com/clouddrive/learnmore

Amazon pricing set up:

I recommend this Cloud.  I actually have one… this is my Amazon cloud:

Mobile App view:

 

 Next up is the Apple iCloud:

I personally haven’t used this one because I don’t have an apple device. Well my Ipod touch but daughter mainly uses that. Any who here are some of the basics with the iCloud if you don’t have an iPhone you can move to the next cloud.  The iCloud is only compatible with Apple products. To be even more specific iPhones running at least iOS5, have iTunes 10.5 and your iPhone must be 3Gs or newer.  So if you actually meet all those criteria then here we go. Works the same pretty much across the board once you set the cloud up you can update your setting that whenever you upload music to iTunes then it will sync with your cloud.

Here is the blurb from the Apple site:

"iCloud is so much more than a hard drive in the sky. It makes it quick and effortless to access just about everything on the devices you use every day. iCloud automatically and securely stores your content so it's always available to your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Mac, or PC. It gives you access to your music, apps, latest photos, and more from whichever device you happen to be using. And it keeps your email, contacts, and calendars up to date across all your devices. No syncing required. No management required. In fact, no anything required. iCloud does it all for you."

Now what you do you get with this service:

5gb free with the iCloud.

Extra storage cost:

BUT AHA!! Good ol Apple the Kings of nickel and diming its’ loyal followers to death…this is only compatible with music you bought from iTunes…if you want to add music that you didn’t purchase from iTunes then you have to get another service compatible to the iCloud called iTunes match which cost an additional 24.99/year. 

Pros: Neat, clean interface, auto syncing, you can also put photos, videos and documents in the icloud

Cons: Expensive, have to buy iTunes match to sync my other music I may have on my computer from CD’s etc, only compatible with Apple products, oh yeah EXPENSIVE compared to competitor.

*side note* now do you see why they yanked the competitors apps from the itunes store.  They are cheaper and you get more space for less.

More info can be found here: http://www.apple.com/icloud/features/

I recommend if you have an apple product and plan on using everything its capable of besides music.

Next is Google Music Cloud:

This one by far is my favorite it’s a Google product and I love Google.  However,  let me give you the skinny on Google Music.  Here is the a synopsis of the Google Cloud from their site…

“Google Music stores all of your music online so that you can save space on your computers and mobile devices and easily access your collection from anywhere you want to listen.”

What you get with Google Music Cloud:

You can add up to 20,000 songs that’s roughly I think about 80GB’s for…wait for it….. FREE!!! (whoo hoooo)

Also with the Google Music cloud you get free music if you are Android from the Android Market.  There are hundreds of free songs.

There is an app for it on Android.  Although Apple has restricted a Google app put out by Google there are several 3 party Google Music apps for iPhone.  I think what I have heard most people like is the iPhone app gMusic. Blackberry users access google.com/music from their browser.

Pros: Ease of use, seems to be most compatible, free music, most storage for free, if you are on Google + you can share songs with friends, auto syncs with whatever program you want including iTunes, editable song information.

Cons:  If you have a large music library to upload all at once be prepared to start the upload in the morning and go about your day and hope it’s done by the time you get home but once its uploaded your good.  This is Music only cloud so if you have pictures or videos you want to upload this Cloud system doesn’t have that capability.

More info here: http://music.google.com/about/

If you’re looking for music only….I HIGHLY recommend this one.

Here is a screen shot of my Google Music Cloud:

Mobile App view:

Lastly is..

Have your own Cloud at home.  You can purchase a home media cloud device for your home which you upload your information to it and you stream from it where ever you are.  Some of them I’ve heard of or seen are the PogoPlug, Iomega and you can Google others. 

These devices start with 5gb of space and the lowest price I have seen is 37.99 ranging up into the hundreds.  Also the streaming quality and speed depends on your internet connection at home.

Pros: Everything is in house, if the services ever decide to go up on fees on begin charging fee’s you have no worries.  If you pirate music or movies this is a safe way to put your info in storage and have no fears of being caught. You can share files with friends with no restrictions.

Cons: Streaming is spotty unless your internet connection is rock solid and fast, if you have a blackberry or something other than an iPhone or Android most likely it may not be compatible.  If you need more space you have to get another device or start deleting stuff to make room.  In a lot of the cases after looking at these online is you have to also buy a mobile device to actually be able to stream to your device. 

All in all, I guess I’m impartial to this one…I have no interest in it but if you want everything to remain in house and are very concerned about ultimate privacy then this might be the route for you.

If you want more info on having your own in house cloud here is the link to PogoPlug: 

https://my.pogoplug.com/features

Well this has just been my brief review, opinion and break down of some of the major music cloud services out there.Hope this has been helpful for you.  If you have any questions feel free to ask. I'm off to enjoy my plethora of music. Blog ya later!