Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Adventures on a Dating Site

Hello my lovely readers...you are looking mighty fine!


OK so I thought I would experiment on a pretty well known dating website (which shall remain nameless).  A friend of mine met her beau on the site and suggested I give it a shot.  Well me being the wild rebel I am I thought..."eh what hey."


So the results of this experiment have been a lot things, humorous, weird, interesting oh did I mention humorous.  I am saying all this and you are reading, "like well dang it Toya tell us what happened.  What have you come across?"

Well calm down, I'll get to it but first let me kinda tell you how this thing goes in case you have never been on an online dating site or ever looked at one.  First, you create an account of course and from there you fill out some demographic information along with your basic likes and preferences etc.  You then upload your pictures and include a short bio about yourself.


Once you do all that you have an option of completing a more extensive personality assessment for the site to give you more compatible matches (*I'm snickering right now*).  OK yeah I didn't do the extra hour long assessment..yeah no thanks!

Let's see *cracks knuckles* let me see, where to begin...well once I was all set up. I got a mass amount of emails from various daters who were interested in my profile.  Ok, first of all I wasn't even on the site an hour and I had like 11 emails.

From those interested, I learned a few things...main thing is...THEY DIDN'T READ MY PROFILE. Yes, sorry I was yelling. On my profile I listed my hobbies, things important to me all that jazz along with my demographic information.


Well bachelor #1's first question was "Hey Sexy, you look hella good, how old are you?" umm ok folks (my face is like o_O) ... first that introduction, secondly how old am I? That's like the first thing listed under your username! So guess what he got...I'll tell you...no response, that's what!










Bachelor #2 In my profile I clearly listed I prefer guys within a certain age range. Welp, another NON READER...this guy looked like he was old enough to be my grandfather only Caucasian and looks like he goes Harley Riding with ZZ TOP.  Now while he was polite he clearly didn't read the ages listed in which he clearly was not in the range of.








Bachelor #3 He decides to type to me like this... "hEy BeAuTiFuL hOw iZ u DoIn" ummm yeah no words for that.... I was mad his message gave me a mini damn migraine so I just deleted it and moved on.





Bachelor #4  (Ok please note...this is a true story) He was nice and all but after we exchanged messages back and forth for oh about 4 cycles (him, me, him, me, him) He decided to say and I quote "I love ass, I mean really love it, everything about it the smell the look the taste, I love to eat ass!"
Ummm yeah ok yeah I know close your mouth! I was like that too thinking "WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT" anyways I guess he thought I would be somehow responsive to that.
Well folks...couple issues with that, *ahem* first of all why would you tell me that after like a 2 min conversation.
Secondly, even if I found that out later on...one word, EWWWWWW.  Ol boo boo chip mouth boy.  That would mess up a relationship I'm telling you! How, well everytime you kiss him you think his face has been planted inside someones butt cheeks and eating boo boo chips...that's a big fat fail...NNNNEEEXXXXTTTTTTTT!!!
                                                         

Those are just a few examples oh how I can go on! But I will now go over some common pit falls to avoid when looking around on dating sites.  Here are things to look for...men and women!
  • FAKE PICTURES! Beware, they will Photoshop pictures.  Make themselves have abs that are not there. Make themselves thinner than what they are. Make themselves have hair lol
                                                        
  • Far away pictures...ok far away pictures most likely mean they don't want you to see something orrrrrrr let's be honest they are less than attractive
  • Fake Facades: pictures of people with their prize possessions (car, motorcycles, purses, make up etc)...the pictures of them holding money always cracks me up!
                                                         
  • People lie! Just a fact of life. A person will say their build is 'average or athletic build' well when you see a real life pic or them in real life they are one Twinkie away from obesity
                                                                  

  • Some will say they are single and they are not.
  • Some will say they don't have children and they do.
  • They have this fabulous job when in fact they don't have one at all or not one as glorified as they claim.
  • People who have photos up from 2002...umm hello it's almost 2013
  • One that cracks me up is when they take these picture they swear are sexy but they turn out to be a failure in every since of the word.

Now fear not it's not all bad, but there are a lot of yahoo's to watch out for.  One thing I will say is just take your time. Take it slow and listen and pay attention to  the conversation.  Read between the lines sometimes.



As for me, I have met some nice folks on the site but for one reason or another mainly I think on my part they fall into the friend zone.  I am the first to admit...
                                                         

Hey there don't go judging me.

OOoooooh look at the time...gotta run!

Blog ya later!
                                                               

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Friends, Love and the Election...Randomness!

Well hello again...nice to see you again. My you are looking well! What, you have a problem with my niceness then fine, I'll just say you look like hell! Is that better Mr/Ms. Pessimistic, lol just kidding but it is good to see you again.
I have been scattered brained again about what exactly I want to talk to you folks about...let's see, friends, love, the election.  Ehhhhh...nah I don't think any of those, yet at the same time all of those.  Have you ever just battled with yourself internally...well I do it on a constant basis and I tell you what I am one tough cookie!



I refuse to give up and I refuse to give and sometimes you have too! I refuse to let people dictate what I can and can't do...that makes me an angry rebel black sheep, I call it passionate for change.
I recently had a good friend of mine (shout out #TeamTurtle) tell me when it comes to love "you are just too picky" my response was you may be right.  He says "It's like you subconsciously look for stuff to discount folks and if you don't let down your defenses no one will ever be good enough."  Well of course rebel me was like "WHATEVER BUDDY" but real me was like "yeah I know I really need to be more conscious of that."

Moving on along...friends well I don't have many I really call friends yet the ones I do that are active are awesome! Shout out to you guys...I thank you for setting me straight when I am all over the place, being that shoulder to cry on when I need it as well as that ear to listen. I was a bit down and often envious of folks who had these undying long lasting friendships (I remember when I had those).  I wanted that but you know what God gives us what we need.  Strangely enough I was whining about not having any friends to a couple of friends! WTH?!  How insensitive of me, after I thought back on it! They are awesome friends and they must have  felt like chop suey hearing me whining and saying I don't have any friends....I'm sorry you guys even when you tick me off.  I LOVE YOU!!! (*side note* As I type my friend is sitting here randomly singing lyrics off key as all hell it's hilarious*)

You know we don't tell people we love them as much as we should then if something where to happen you are ready to throw yourself in moving traffic because you never told them how you felt about them or how much they have influenced your life etc.   So make sure you tell the ones you care about that you do care about them and what impact they have had on your life.  It would mean the world to them, I know it would mean to the world to me if I heard that.

Ok moving on along...the election...President Barack Obama will stay the president for 4 more year.... Get over it, move on, it is what it is!!

This blog is totally scattered and random and you know what...one word...WHATEVER lol anyways


Blog ya laters...