Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Adventures on a Dating Site

Hello my lovely are looking mighty fine!

OK so I thought I would experiment on a pretty well known dating website (which shall remain nameless).  A friend of mine met her beau on the site and suggested I give it a shot.  Well me being the wild rebel I am I thought..."eh what hey."

So the results of this experiment have been a lot things, humorous, weird, interesting oh did I mention humorous.  I am saying all this and you are reading, "like well dang it Toya tell us what happened.  What have you come across?"

Well calm down, I'll get to it but first let me kinda tell you how this thing goes in case you have never been on an online dating site or ever looked at one.  First, you create an account of course and from there you fill out some demographic information along with your basic likes and preferences etc.  You then upload your pictures and include a short bio about yourself.

Once you do all that you have an option of completing a more extensive personality assessment for the site to give you more compatible matches (*I'm snickering right now*).  OK yeah I didn't do the extra hour long assessment..yeah no thanks!

Let's see *cracks knuckles* let me see, where to begin...well once I was all set up. I got a mass amount of emails from various daters who were interested in my profile.  Ok, first of all I wasn't even on the site an hour and I had like 11 emails.

From those interested, I learned a few things...main thing is...THEY DIDN'T READ MY PROFILE. Yes, sorry I was yelling. On my profile I listed my hobbies, things important to me all that jazz along with my demographic information.

Well bachelor #1's first question was "Hey Sexy, you look hella good, how old are you?" umm ok folks (my face is like o_O) ... first that introduction, secondly how old am I? That's like the first thing listed under your username! So guess what he got...I'll tell response, that's what!

Bachelor #2 In my profile I clearly listed I prefer guys within a certain age range. Welp, another NON READER...this guy looked like he was old enough to be my grandfather only Caucasian and looks like he goes Harley Riding with ZZ TOP.  Now while he was polite he clearly didn't read the ages listed in which he clearly was not in the range of.

Bachelor #3 He decides to type to me like this... "hEy BeAuTiFuL hOw iZ u DoIn" ummm yeah no words for that.... I was mad his message gave me a mini damn migraine so I just deleted it and moved on.

Bachelor #4  (Ok please note...this is a true story) He was nice and all but after we exchanged messages back and forth for oh about 4 cycles (him, me, him, me, him) He decided to say and I quote "I love ass, I mean really love it, everything about it the smell the look the taste, I love to eat ass!"
Ummm yeah ok yeah I know close your mouth! I was like that too thinking "WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT" anyways I guess he thought I would be somehow responsive to that.
Well folks...couple issues with that, *ahem* first of all why would you tell me that after like a 2 min conversation.
Secondly, even if I found that out later word, EWWWWWW.  Ol boo boo chip mouth boy.  That would mess up a relationship I'm telling you! How, well everytime you kiss him you think his face has been planted inside someones butt cheeks and eating boo boo chips...that's a big fat fail...NNNNEEEXXXXTTTTTTTT!!!

Those are just a few examples oh how I can go on! But I will now go over some common pit falls to avoid when looking around on dating sites.  Here are things to look and women!
  • FAKE PICTURES! Beware, they will Photoshop pictures.  Make themselves have abs that are not there. Make themselves thinner than what they are. Make themselves have hair lol
  • Far away pictures...ok far away pictures most likely mean they don't want you to see something orrrrrrr let's be honest they are less than attractive
  • Fake Facades: pictures of people with their prize possessions (car, motorcycles, purses, make up etc)...the pictures of them holding money always cracks me up!
  • People lie! Just a fact of life. A person will say their build is 'average or athletic build' well when you see a real life pic or them in real life they are one Twinkie away from obesity

  • Some will say they are single and they are not.
  • Some will say they don't have children and they do.
  • They have this fabulous job when in fact they don't have one at all or not one as glorified as they claim.
  • People who have photos up from 2002...umm hello it's almost 2013
  • One that cracks me up is when they take these picture they swear are sexy but they turn out to be a failure in every since of the word.

Now fear not it's not all bad, but there are a lot of yahoo's to watch out for.  One thing I will say is just take your time. Take it slow and listen and pay attention to  the conversation.  Read between the lines sometimes.

As for me, I have met some nice folks on the site but for one reason or another mainly I think on my part they fall into the friend zone.  I am the first to admit...

Hey there don't go judging me.

OOoooooh look at the time...gotta run!

Blog ya later!


  1. I can agree that your research has revealed some very interesting findings, and you know what? All true! and as distressing as these interenet dating horrors are, you bring them to light with wit, humor, and a no holds barred slap to the guilty whose names of course are witheld. You need to send each a link in their inbox, this way your blog gets even a few more hits, and the guilty are punished discreetly as they read about themselves. It aint like their gonna say hey... Thats me your talking about.

    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Food for thought to send the blog to their inbox lol umm that would be a lot normally I just delete and keep moving. Problem i is they see I've opened their message yet not responded. That then brings more messages of "so your just not going to respond" I follow up with more silence normally. Lol

  2. bah ah ah aaa it shows that after 13 years.. dating sites are still the same bull....

  3. Sounds like Itsmainly for entertainment to most people. Anything that comes out of it will be a plus. If you look at it that way you'll never be disappointed.