Laughter Heals So Here Are 2 Pick Me Up's!

Hey guys sup *head nod up* (see that I'm hardcore & cool)...

Ha ha looks whose back... awwwww ficky ficky yeah twice in a week!


Eh well I said I would be back! So here I am.  Now this will be a not so serious post like the last travesty that I had to address.  At any rate, the last couple weeks I have been exposed to two little gems that I must say have introduced a new level of silly humor into my life! I have been spreading the words to share in the laughter...and so far so good!! So let's get right to it shall we?

The first little gem was introduced to me in a weird late night Voxer message from one of my best buds...Lorraine. She said you have got to read this book!!! It is hilarious!!!!  So of course I asked what is it about, then I asked the name.  Well when Lorraine said the book is called... *waaaaaiiit for it* Emails from An A%#hole ,  oh yeah I was intrigued.  
Inside I thought, yup that has funny all over it BUT wait, with a title like that the title may be the best thing about it.  So, I got the book to check it out and see for myself it was really THAT funny.  

Ok so I read it in like two days, I think I would have read it one expect for the minor asthma attacks of laughter I had and massive pools of tears coming from my eyes!!

OOOHHHHHHH EEEEEMMMMMMM GGEEEEEEEEEE this book was super hilarious! It all started from a website dontevenreply.com.
HA! Now you are intrigued and want to know what the book is about...well here is a brief summary because I totally don't want to ruin it for you.

When John Lindsay launched DontEvenReply.com in June 2009, it became an instant sensation. With 60% of the book featuring entirely new material never before available on the website, Emails from an Asshole offers fans a fresh opportunity to revel in people's gullibility. Posing as a customer or seller, Lindsay responded to a variety of classified ads, making ridiculous offers to unsuspecting victims. Their responses, and the ensuing conversations, will have readers simultaneously laughing non-stop and gasping with disbelief.

Also, John has plenty more stories on his site www.dontevenreply.com which should also listed on the links on my site here. :)  You can get the book at Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Apple Store and the Android Play Store.  

This gets two thumbs up from me and I think you should buy or download it today! Thanks Lorraine for the recommendation!!! You rock as always!  If you guys read some of his stuff, please let me know how you like it. The very first story in the book is one of my favorites and the Paraplegic Mover.

Alright now that you are ready to make that purchase or visit your nearest torrent site to download let's move on to the next little gem of humor I was introduced to this past weekend. The game is called...wait for it...CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY.  Ever heard of it? HA, yeah me neither until my ol buddy Justin invited me to his lil kick ass birthday soiree, in which the evening began with drinks and Card Against Humanity.

Now show of hands how many your have ever heard of or played this game?

Great well Cards Against Humanity is just like this...NOT!! Ok ok well the game play is the same but the cards...oh buddy are so not PG and  Prude friendly. 

 If you are easily offended then Cards Against Humanity is not for you!

Oh wait let me back up...some people haven't play Apples to Apples either so here is a brief idea of how to play (although there are many variations). In the game you are dealt certain number of cards (usually 7 or 10). On those cards nouns or proper nouns are listed. You then have another stack of cards (green cards in Apples and Black cards in Cards Against Humanity).  Well the players take turns picking from that pile from their they read the sentence on the card and all other players then complete the sentence with the card they thing that person will pick (answers usually are creative, funny appealing to the person who has the sentence card). The person with the sentence card picks the answer they like best and which ever player put it down gets that stack..at the end of the game players with the most cards wins. Ok, that is it in a nutshell minus a few idiosyncrasies.

Well with Card Against Humanity well first of all the box is already offensive because you segregate cards the black cards and the white cards...the answers on those cards OMG hilarious! Some of them are actually normal but then the questions are crazy! You will see how crazy your friends are... 

This game was a straight up winner and a must purchase for adult gatherings!! You can purchase the game at www.CardsAgainstHumanity.com  also if you want to try it out, you can actually download the cards and print them out and play...that seems a little weird playing with slips of paper but eh to each his own!

My rating for Cards Against Humanity...Thanks Justin...buddy you sir are awesome! Anyways my rating is...

But seriously again, make these apart of your week and I guarantee you will crack up laughing and as we all know laughter heals the soul!! We cannot be serious ALL the time these two little gems blessed me with some laughter so I thought I would pass them along to you.  If you play let me know how you like.  I think there is a Card Against Humanity App or similar in the Android Playstore I'm going to try to get some friends to play if they can break away from Ruzzle lol!!

Ok well gotta go but please let me know what you think of these two!

Laters!

Friends, Love and the Election...Randomness!

Well hello again...nice to see you again. My you are looking well! What, you have a problem with my niceness then fine, I'll just say you look like hell! Is that better Mr/Ms. Pessimistic, lol just kidding but it is good to see you again.

I have been scattered brained again about what exactly I want to talk to you folks about...let's see, friends, love, the election.  Ehhhhh...nah I don't think any of those, yet at the same time all of those.  Have you ever just battled with yourself internally...well I do it on a constant basis and I tell you what I am one tough cookie!

I refuse to give up and I refuse to give and sometimes you have too! I refuse to let people dictate what I can and can't do...that makes me an angry rebel black sheep, I call it passionate for change.

I recently had a good friend of mine (shout out #TeamTurtle) tell me when it comes to love "you are just too picky" my response was you may be right.  He says "It's like you subconsciously look for stuff to discount folks and if you don't let down your defenses no one will ever be good enough."  Well of course rebel me was like "WHATEVER BUDDY" but real me was like "yeah I know I really need to be more conscious of that."

Moving on along...friends well I don't have many I really call friends yet the ones I do that are active are awesome! Shout out to you guys...I thank you for setting me straight when I am all over the place, being that shoulder to cry on when I need it as well as that ear to listen. I was a bit down and often envious of folks who had these undying long lasting friendships (I remember when I had those).  I wanted that but you know what God gives us what we need.  Strangely enough I was whining about not having any friends to a couple of friends! WTH?!  How insensitive of me, after I thought back on it! They are awesome friends and they must have  felt like chop suey hearing me whining and saying I don't have any friends....I'm sorry you guys even when you tick me off.  I LOVE YOU!!! (*side note* As I type my friend is sitting here randomly singing lyrics off key as all hell it's hilarious*)

You know we don't tell people we love them as much as we should then if something where to happen you are ready to throw yourself in moving traffic because you never told them how you felt about them or how much they have influenced your life etc.   So make sure you tell the ones you care about that you do care about them and what impact they have had on your life.  It would mean the world to them, I know it would mean to the world to me if I heard that.

Ok moving on along...the election...President Barack Obama will stay the president for 4 more year.... Get over it, move on, it is what it is!!

This blog is totally scattered and random and you know what...one word...WHATEVER lol anyways

Blog ya laters...

I know I Haven't blogged in 4 months but...

Wellllllll hello there...long time no read huh?
I know I know and before you guys go judging me just know I have had alot going on...haven't been focused on being able to sit still and blog.  Two words...my bad. Ok now that we have gotten all that out of the way...I bet you want to know what exciting topic has inspired me to blog. Well nothing in particular I need to get back into the swing of things...I will update my facebook status to something and think hmmm that would make an awesome blog topic. Then what do I do yup you guessed move on and forget.
Well I guess i'll give you a quick cliff notes version of what I have been up too the past few months...*Cracks knuckles*
Let's see I last blogged in December so lets pick up with the new year...

Flash back to January...

This was a mellow month then about half way through my angel in my life my grandmother, Marie Brown passed away Febuary 1.

I never imagined life without her such a rock in my life but its bitter sweet.  I want here with me but in the same breath I know she is in a much better place and if I don't have to worry about anyone going to Heaven its her.
This was a time for reflection to realize how important family and friends are. Also, to really know when you leave this Earth what impression are you leaving behind...that of greatness or mess? I choose greatness just like her! She was the best example of a non judgemental Christian ever! To know her was to love her.
Also, in January found out  a couple of my besties were pregnant! I'll be excited with those babies get here so I can go visit and steal baby cheeks and kisses.

February was mainly consumed by that..I have also this year started working out even more than I used too...its become the best stress reliever for me! I started the Insanity program,  It is super intense if you don't know what it is and you need a good workout I recommend it....www.insanity.com.  I also have been hitting the gym and playing my usual sports...
Oh so your reading this yeah yeah pick it up huh your used to me making you laugh not making you sad...I know I know...ok, ok





Well let's see...

I've had a couple inquires about what happened to ol #94 well I'm happy to report that ol #94 is doing just fine and is happily involved in a relationship. I am very happy for him.  He really deserves that happiness. We are still friends and that's what we are best at :)
No no don't act like aww man. It's a good thing,  Everything isn't for everybody and it was totally for the best at least as far as I am concerned. I may get an invite to his wedding, that'd be awesome. :)
Alright enough about #94 so your thinking well what about you?! Well what about me? ok ok enough with the beating around the bush...well I have been busy being swept off my feet. Yeah from previous posts you know that has not been an easy thing for the ninja is what I shall call him :) it's like he came out of no where!
It's strange how God works he always seems to give us what we need when we need it.  He just kinda snuck up on me but he is so awesome! Keeps me smiling, feeling special and always keeps it genuine and is very patient.  Even critiques me and gets on me when I'm wrong...pssshhh yeah like i'm ever wrong...just kidding! We have grown so close that honestly folks, I say to you...its scary, haven't felt this way in a lllloooooooooonnnnngggggggg time.  I just have to relax and enjoy the journey and see where it leads us.

What a lil taste of happiness looks like :) Thank you ninja! lol

Well that completes my update! OO OO before I forget...ill be having ankle surgery in June so I will be all laid up so guess who will be blogging like a crazy person!

Stay tuned I promise...I have a bunch of good stuff stewing in this disturbed brain oh mine! Until then peace!

Turkey Day Ettiquette: What type are you?!

Happy Turkey Day to everyone!! 

I hope you all enjoyed the day with family and/or friends! 

I went to my Uncle and Aunts house for thanksgiving dinner and met up with family.  Great! Now with that said, I realized there are several various types Thanksgiving food partakers (for lack of a better word). Here we go...

Hoarder:  Pile on as much as they can as fast and they can and hurry in the kitchen because I’m coming back as soon as I scarf this down

The Food Can’t Touch Eater: This person loves the food but oh boy if two foods touch on their plate they will have a melt down… (If you don’t think this person exist think again I watched the meltdown happen it was the most hilarious thing ever lol)

The Picky Eater: This is the person that walks around slowly peeking under pot tops, lifting aluminum foil, poking at food. The pick eater has to closely survey EVERY thing…then when they do fix their plate they only eat certain things. This person sometimes frowns upon others because they eat something that the Picky Eater does not.

The Dieter: This is the person that comes in and proclaims they are on a diet and they can only eat certain things and only a little of this and a little of that…*please note* by the end of the day this person has morphed into the Hoarder.

Bird Eater: This is the person that that will make a regular plate and for some reason they can never finish it.  You can usually find the Bird Eater with a lot of napkins around where they have chewed food and spit out or you might find their paper/Styrofoam plate face down in the trash as to not to alert anyone they didn’t eat all of their food.

The Mouth Wide Open Eater:  This is the person that could be one of the above however, since all the family is around the table perhaps swapping stories from past this person just has to chime in the only thing is…they have a mouth full of food! #FAIL usually bits of cornbread or some other food comes spewing out as everyone looks on with a blank stare. This person usually thinks the looks of everyone is because of their awesome story but it not on the contrary.

Grab & Go Eater: These are family members or friends that make it his or her own personal mission to see how many thanksgiving dinners they can make it too.  They usually eat a small amount (to leave room for other visits). They pack a plate like a hoarder and next thing you know they have their aluminum foiled wrapped plate, coat on  and they are waving goodbye to everyone while heading to their next target.

Last but not least…

The Desserter:  This is the person that is probably one of the above but will also partake in indulging in a hunkin piece of every desert and gluttonously groan, “mmm’s and ahh’s” while eating.

OK, so what type are you?  Are you willing to admit it :)

My truth:

       You know this time of year for me is a bit bittersweet for me.  When I was younger it was always so exciting… yeah but not so much anymore.  Wait, wait I know what your thinking don’t be like that…and I don’t mean in the horrible, but  the generation or generations before myself used to always make sure the family was gathered and everyone was in attendance.  Well that generation has grown a lot older some have gone to be with the Lord and others just can’t do it anymore.  I must be honest this saddens me.  A lot of my family has moved and we are all scattered.

      Now this is the second Thanksgiving I’ve had since my separation and divorce.  I have to honestly say,   I don’t miss that part  ¯\(ツ)/¯

Hey I’m just being honest…but it was the first holiday I was separated from my daughter…although it was only for 8 hours it seemed like a lifetime.  I did have a good time messing with my uncle and family though.

Ok funny story then I’ll wrap it up… you know I like to ramble. So I listen to the Rickey Smiley Morning Show every morning (its hilarious)…ok anyway Rickey is always mispronouncing words…so the morning crew incorporated a bell.  Anytime someone mispronounces a word they ring the bell.

Well yesterday scratch that my uncle is always mispronouncing words and proudly too (because he just knows he is right). For example…he said,  "I got on my computer and I STROLLED down and the stuff was gone." My facial expression at this point was -à o_O  I then tapped the bell said *ahem* you mean "scroll." The bell got quite a bit of use with him trying to say Bass Pro Shop...kept getting tongue tied! LOL...

Well the end of  my visit was when my uncle decide to tell us the story of how he remembers when he learned to walk! OK OK...

You remember when you were 10 months old and you are 52 yrs old now and don’t remember what you did last week! HILARIOUS!!! I love that guy! Always giving me a laugh!

Ok, Ok well that’s enough of my rambling! Again, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and now I shall clean and shop…hopefully all the crazy people who camped out for Black Friday sales have now gone home and I can just ease in and get what I need J

Be blessed! Blog ya later!

Blog entry from the Drafts...Awkward Moments!

Hello Everyone!! Ok, for some reason this has been the never ending blog post that has remained in draft..."Why?" you ask. Well let's see: couple of days ago...not going to lie started typing and my A.D.D kicked in so there went that attempt-Draft! Let's see,2nd attempt all cozy ready to finish up and publish this blog post and what happens I smmooooooooootttthhhh fell asleep...so my comp auto drafted and went to see along with me! LOL well then today I'm determined right? Right?! Well I'm plugging away pasting in my visuals to give you all the full effect of what I'm trying to get across and what happens....you'll never guess! SO in that case I may as well tell you...here I go tippity typing away on my netbook and almost done and what do I hear..."Hey HONEY, how are ya?!" It was my aunt and uncle from North Carolina. Now I love them to pieces but dang Skype Auto Sign In. They completely took over my netbook, how you ask well like this..."let me talk to your mom, then your grandmother, your uncle"...cheesh and on and on and on until the battery died and then what...you guessed it DRAFT! But without further ado...I'm charged up and chillaxin on my couch ready to share my oh so special thought with you all.

Well I always encourage laughter and find humor in life everyday right? No? Well look I just said it so take that! At anyrate some of you just don't know how to lighten up, take the stick out and see the glass as half full. Well I'm going to go over a few awkward moments that have most likely happened to us all that are always good for a giggle! Some of them are my awkward moments and other I have gotten from friends and twitter friends! So here we go!

**********AWKWARD MOMENTS AT THE OFFICE***********

The awkward moment when you walk in the bathroom at work for example one of your co-workers walks out. You greet them super nice (i.e Hey Shirley how's it going..glad it's Friday) you then walk in the bathroom and realize Shirley has dropped a bomb strong enough to peel paint

OR the awkward moment you finish dropping the kids off at the pool walk out of the stall to see a co-worker with a blank stare on their faces and you have to do the walk of shame to the sink to wash your hands. (This awkward moment is courtesy of #94)

Then there is the awkward moment when you hop on an elevator with earphones on full blast and in the midst of you bobbing your head to the beat you look over and see the other person on the elevator looking at you and their lips are moving. You then take one ear bud out only to discover they have been having a full fledge conversation with you and your only response is..."what? or huh?"

The awkward moment when the gross person in the office (def: the person that doesn't wash their hands after using the bathroom, quick to wipe or pick their nose with no tissue etc) decides to bring a dish to the potluck and insist you try it, and you try to come up with every excuse not too.

Then the follow up awkward moment is what that same co-worker busts you at the trash discarding the untouched serving of their dish. (#94)

Here's another one: In the office co-worker tells a totally weird joke about plutonium nitrate (or something eccentric) thinks it's hilarious and you and everyone else stands there with a blank stare at each other because its the farthest thing from funny but you try to fake it, but ends up in a blank stare.

*******AWKWARD MOMENTS AT THE WITH FRIENDS*********

How many of us have been with a group of friends talking etc. Then comes the awkward moment when you start telling a story and you realize no one is listening to you so you just fade your voice to silent.

Awkward moment at the drive-thru: You pull up to a fast food drive thru...study the menu as if you have never ever seen it before in your life...finally you say "uh uh I want uh..." you then recite your three separate orders only to hear the young kid on the other of the speaker talking to someone else then say..yeah can you repeat that.

Here this is one I bet we have all experienced. Picture it: You are approaching a traffic light, uh oh there is a pan handler at the corner with a sign asking for money. So you plot on how to avoid looking at them, but there is that awkward moment when you sit in your car staring straight ahead waiting for the forever red light to turn green so you can peel out of this awkward situation but all the while the pan handler is intensely staring at you.

I have fell victim to the next awkward moment but it happens like this... you are minding

your own business and you get a text from a friend and you think oh hmmm what could this be, you open it up and your face instantly looks like this --> o_O you think or say, "what in the..." You respond back with "uhhh I don't think you meant to send this to me." Your friend responds, "Oh ish oops girl just delete that" You think or if your me you respond with, "Wow how do you take a pic in that position and next time at least take your kids toys out of the picture! LOL"

This last awkward moment is courtesy of @AwkwardTweets on twitter...I thought it was truly hilarious!

The awkward moment when you photograph your child at the zoo, oblivious to what's going on in the background.

Well as usual I say live life and laugh often! Until next time my weirdos! Blog ya later!! Hey feel free to comment and share some of your awkward moments! I'd love to read them and crack up!