Showing posts with label hot mess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hot mess. Show all posts

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Guess whose back to let you know

Ok Ok I have been MIA for a while…had a lot goin on…well SUE ME, BUT guess what I’m back! Just wanted to ease back into my blog so here we go. How many of you come in contact with people who just make you shake your head and think I could smooth haul off and smack you in the face for ‘that’. Well if not you’re weird, I felt compelled to tweet several things that just make me think…‘You Need to Be Slapped across the face.’ I know some of you follow me on twitter and some of you do not so for you who do not here you go. Please feel free to post some of your reasons as a comment Ill be sure to tweet them. Welp *cracks knuckles* here we go!


You still have that 250 count cd case in ya car You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face get some sort of mp3 player its 2010 for crying out loud!





If I hand u my money and u put my change on the counter .

You take yo nasty behind in the bathroom and dont flush when ur done...

On a job app u list as ur email address MrGoodDick@yahoo.com

You went to see For Colored Girls & tweeted or posted to Facebook that you were mad Madea wasn’t in it.





You use your unemployment check to buy weed.

You have a hand written resume.

You are born & raised in the USA and you can't speak proper English. There is a time and place for everything.



On a job app u list for gaps in employment that u were getting off crack & trying to stop prostituting.


If u were more concerned about Lil wayne getting out or some other ridiculousness but didnt attempt to vote for issues concerning you directly You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face.




If you don't brush yo teeth and especially if you are always up in somebodies face.

Deadbeat Dads and Moms.

Your the weather man and tell everyone itll be 75° & sunny & it ends up 30 & raining.

If you're a woman who doesn't think the Rock is sexayyyyy. Ok..say he isn't...look, I dare you I double dog dare you! *ooowwwwwwwwwwwwww* Call me Dwyane! =)


*Ahem ok getting back to the list!

You let ur man get ready to "*give u knowledge" & You dont enlighten him tht its a bad idea that time of the month.

You have an emaciated dog chained up in your backyard surrounded by flies.

You bathe in brute, old spice or any of the kind.


Your breathe smells like moldy ass & cinnamon You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face you need to brush not just pop in a piece of big red.

You kiss yo dog all in the mouth, that’s just nasty.

Your buttcheeks are stuck together because your nasty behind don't know how to wipe properly...

((Scenario)) You know your man/husband is cheating. Your response: "whatever tho.. he comes home to me every night so whatever." *blank stare* You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face


You don't give God the Glory....You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face how do you think you got here fool!

These are only a few...feel free to add on. I could go on all day! Well I h0pe to get back to blogging on a regular basis, but this was just to get back into it. Thank you guys!

*knowledge =head

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random WTH's We Encounter Everyday

Ok first of all I guess I should define what the acronym WTH is...well it means 'what the hell?!' It is a term that I use quite often...can't help it. One more I should familiarize you with is 'smh' which means 'shaking my head.' Ok now I will give you a couple examples to make sure you are comfortable and get it.

Example #1: = WTH or SMH?! Get it? Ok good.


Example #2 =WTH or an SMH.

***********************************************************************************

Ok now that we have the linguistics out the way. Let's get to the topic at hand... some random everyday things that make you go WTH?! or just smh.


#1 SKINNY JEANS especially on guys!

<---thats gotta hurt...
OK OMG!!! This is such a bad look that I wish would just die and go back to where it came from. I mean on what planet do these look right? I cannot believe guys are even going for those but I guess they want to be on the cutting edge of fashion, but these bad boys looks like they are on the cutting edge of something alright, something that will hurt if you move too fast the wrong way.


Part 2 to Skinny Jean...lol Sagging Skinny Jeans...

Ok this is a big WTH?! Really fella's does this look right to you? Not a good look...I repeat...not a good look!

Two big problems here...
#1 They are saggin skinny jeans

#2 The 80's multiple colors with the matching shoes...really?! You gunna do that huh? In twitter world this would be known as an #UtterFail and an over all hot mess. So skinny jeans overall get a big fat WTH?!

#2 Natural Hair : It is not for everyone

Yeah I said it!! And...? If you are not going to keep it up or if it just looks a mess then don't do it!! If your hair looks like it could be featured in the movie Saw as one of Jigsaws traps then you need to do something different. This topic is not exclusive to any one group of people.
Look at these WTH?! Natural Hair styles...
< 'Really home girl needs to part and grease. Come on now.'

Wow I can honestly say I didn't think a white guys hair could look like this...Did he stick his finger in a socket or what? WTH?!


Last but not least look at this, there is no caption to capture the essence of the WTH-ness...
I mean look at this what really can you say?! Other than WTH?! What crawled up in his head and died?!


#2 Hair Part 2: Styles
OK so the natural hair is getting out of hand on some folks but the some of these hairstyles period are just a bit outlandish and just simply put look like 'who did it and what for?!' Don't believe me? Oh well let me show you then. Mr or Ms/Mrs Doubty pants...I double triple dog dare you not to say WTH?! Can you do it...? Here we go...


Even the lady in the background is looking at her like WTH?!


Yeah not sure what that is...other than WTH?!
This right here is hotmessness taken to a whole nother level...not sure if that is a real word but whatever...ya heard it here first folks. WTH?!
smh folks
#3 Tattoos

I am probably in the minor regarding tattoos. I have none "and why?" you ask. Well i'm not a needle person so I deal with them when I have too, BUT for me to pay someone to dig in my skin with a needle?! Well let's just say I'm good on that, I'll pass. However, just because I don't have any doesn't mean I don't know a hot mess when I see one. Curious as to what I am talking about, well let's dive in shall we?
Tattoo fau paux #1

Bad artwork...really folks this is a permanent thing on your body how about you check out the tattoo artist before you sit down and let them go to work diggin in your skin with ink. Otherwise, you might end up like this poor guy...





Tattoo faux paux #2

Tackiness…this is just a common sense thing, I think. This is one of those things where you sit down in the chair and you think... “self do I really want to tattoo this on my body which I have to look at all the time (unless it’s on your back) and that's permanent, hmm do I?” Well some people are just idiots, do it anyway and then end up with tattoos like this…which get a WTH and a SMH.

Really dude you love your genitals sooooo much you had to get them tattooed on under your armpit…*blank stare*…RRRIIIGGGHHHHTTT! WTH?! Someone should just put baby powder all over their hands and just smack hip across the face. SMH!
Tattoo of a woman’s open legs…this right here is a sure sign of someone who isn’t getting any if he needs this tattoo…I’m just saying. I hope he doesn’t have any daughters how do you possible explain that one?

Tattoo faux paux #3

Skin tone.,.yeah I SAID IT!! If you are as dark as an asphalt road and want a tattoo you need to :
A) Pay the extra money for the white ink they have or
B) Just don’t waste your money.
Why you ask? Well because who can see that?! Yeah even your squinting to see it and then you got color HA can’t see that either. Again…WTH?! I'm just being honest.

Prime example here folks…Shaq. We love Shaq yes we do…BUT, can you tell me what that tattoo say or what it is a picture of? Hmmm….Don’t worry I’ll wait…*taps foot patiently*. I’m just saying.

Tattoo faux paux #4
Spell Check anyone? Ok, it’s one idiotic thing to get a girlfriend or boyfriend’s name tattooed on you or to get your favorite saying etc. BUT dude c’mon at least make sure your tattoo artist AT LEAST has a GED and can spell or you will end up like this WTH tattoos. SMH

<Really dude don't you just look cool...NOT BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bless his heart!


Awww he wanted to tell the world how awesome he is and now they know how not awesome he is and the fact that he’s a little special because he has a misspelled tattoo on his back. Sheer comedy I tell you. WTH?!



...Coming up next blog: Bathroom & Elevator Etiquette at Work