Popping In!!!!

I fell in love with the way you looked at me, spoke to me, touched me without using your hands and left me breathless but still full of life.

The Latest Dumb Revolution... The Side Chick Revolution

Hey all,

It’s been a while I know but you know we always go through this song and dance. I know by now you all don’t judge me for that. I have been honestly avoiding all writings on the computer or even in my journal. Well sometimes I think when I want to blog about stuff will you guys even really care or not.  I don’t know I think it was like my own subconscious protest of not dealing with some things but eh I digress.

Yeah well regardless of that I’m here.  Hope everyone had an AWESOME holiday season and a good new year. If you are reading this congrats you made it to 2014.

Now I want to address something that has utterly irks me.  This "Side Chick Movement."

Let’s jump back in time for a minute. 

Since as long as we can remember there have been mistresses and unfaithful partners. Now I can’t speak back to the days of Marilyn Monroe and how that all played out when she was a mistress but one thing that has irked me beyond belief is that today  (2014)  being a “mistress” or “other woman” is glorified.

Is this a new concept? Well of course not!

HOWEVER, now it’s like the “in” thing and it’s pushed on us as acceptable to be the new age “Side Chick.”

We see celebrities who have been exposed as side chicks who have broken up marriages. Now of course those celebrities have the same excuses as the average side chick they are no different.  They say things like “I couldn't take him if he wasn't ready to go” or “that’s on him not me, not my problem.”  etc, that's crap you are both as wrong as two left shoes!!

I’m sorry what the hell kind of retarded thinking is that?!

Talk about lack of respect for yourself. I guess I would hope you would love yourself enough to know you deserve a whole man not a piece of someone else’s. Why would you even want that for yourself? There are enough single men without you going for one that’s involved.

Now that it has become such a glorified deal Hollywood is cashing in on it with shows like Scandal, Being Mary Jane, where these successful women who seem strong fall super weak in the relationship category by taking the side chick seat to married men. 

Also, music makes it the cool thing to do. Songs about side chicks and faithful ones at that. They demean us and we seem to be OK with that.  Just listen to this song below. This song talks about he takes care of his side chick and his wife knows about her etc.  Side chicks are basically OK with sharing and can be bought. I don't know about you but nothing about this or this song is cute to me.  This isn't the first song about the side chicks they date back and are in all genres. Sugarland has a song called Stay, Shirley Murdock back in the 80's had As We Lay, about a woman who knew she was with someone else's man but she had him for that one night and she was emotional about it.  This is not a new problem but now is no longer seen as a problem but not it's seen as the "cool and acceptable" thing.

Now I know there are some situations that take place where one may not be aware she is a side chick. I’m not referring to that group but I will say this… in some instances YOU ALL KNOW!!! STOP being blind all the signs are there that you are a side piece but you insist that he loves you etc. C’mon WAKE UP!!

Then there are the some women that seek out married men that way they don’t have to be committed and get them to take care of them financially and buy them things etc…. ok *PAUSE*

WHAT THE ENTIRE EFF SERIOUSLY?!

Ladies, are we only worth what someone can buy us? Are we so desperate for love that we will lure another woman’s man into our bed? Is our self-respect so low that we will forego being seen in public, spending holidays etc  because he is married?!

Meanwhile, let me let you in on something men are loving it!! They have jokes for days.  Not all of them but a lot of them are LOVING every minute of it. in this day and age they can have an eager side chick that will sleep with them and in some cases take care of them financially and shower them with gifts but always stay in her place.  On the side quiet as a mouse. Just thinking about it blows me away.  BLOWS ME AWAY.

Then there is the one who has really fallen for the taken man. You are patiently waiting for him to leave his wife or significant other for you. You are all faithful to him, and then get upset when you find out there is another side chick and that he isn't being faithful to you.

WELL DAMN hello he isn't being faithful to his WIFE or Girlfriend.  This is I think one of the worst case of unhealthy delusion.  Well let’s entertain this for a second…he leaves her for you.  Now you cannot tell me that you are secure with him. You know what he is capable of so then you become captain insecurity which isn't healthy at all. Hey just look at Fantasia. There are a few cases that seem to have worked out but that is what we see on the outside, but why even go through all that unnecessarily.

Also, let me address this as well. Is it all our fault and men have no part in it. NOPE, not saying that at all but right now I am only speaking for my own gender. Speaking to my sisters no matter the age, color etc. I know we can do better, I know we can want better, I know we deserve better. 

THE SIDE CHICK REVOLUTION MUST END!!

There are signs that you must pay attention to when you are dating someone that will tell you if they are trying to put you on the side chick team. 

• He hits you with the “I need my time and space”, this leaves the door open to come and go as he pleases.  He will expect you to wait in the wings. If not, you will be dismissed as being to clingy, pushy etc. If this happens, count it as a blessing that you dodged a bullet and move on.

• When you call you get sent to voice mail instantly. This is going to be in a time-frame when you know he is most likely available, not while you know he is working or something of that nature.  You may get an instant follow up text saying “can’t talk now, call you later.” Now do people get busy, of course! This is example is for extreme cases meaning this happens more often than not. Just pay attention.

Here are some other indicators as blogged by  www.seriously-maybe.com:

His phone is usually uncharged, about to die or out of service 
If 90% of the time you call him it goes straight to voicemail, you’re the side chick. This correlates to his phone never ringing. He could be with someone else at the time and can’t pick up the phone to talk to you, so he turns it off. No one carries around a dead phone all the time.

His compliments are focused around physical appearance
If the only nice things he has to say about you is centered around the way you look or your performance, you’re the sexy side chick. This guy is obviously only into you for your body. Most people think that guys are one track minded, so compliments only surrounding sex, make sense. But the truth is that we actually think about other stuff too. So if you say something somewhat intelligent and his reply is, “Your lips are so cute” chances are you’re not the chick that he listens to.

Dates are never last minute
If ALL your dates are planned at least a week in advanced, he has other chicks on his schedule. He probably sets aside a day just for his side chicks. If you’re not already in the books for that day on the current week, he makes you wait until the following week, before he’s “free” again.

Dates are closer to your home/work than his
If you’ve never been out to a place that’s in the vicinity of his job or home, you’re the side chick. He never takes you to those places because he doesn’t want to risk the chance of running into something that may know about his other chick(s). Next time you go out with him, suggest a place near his home and see he what says.

He’s never disappointed angry upset when you cancel on him
If he could care less whether he sees you are not, you’re the side chick. Things come up all the time and you may have to cancel a date with him. If he is too cool about not seeing you, he definitely has someone else to occupy his time.

Masetv.com  blogs a list of traits as well, some of the following which I find to be accurate.

He tells you that he doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day or really do holidays. In some instances this may be true but more often than not, A LIE.

He has absolutely NO pictures of you, or with you, on his Facebook or Instagram page. If someone can go to your social profile and see a variety of pics of you with him, and go to his page and find only his selfies and bro pics, then know for sure that he doesn’t have you listed as his first priority.  Now my caveat to this  one is really only accurate if a person is active on social media some people really are not, however again keep an eye out but don’t be a stalker just pay attention and observe.

There are no dates….you only visit his bedroom and go home. Let me add or he comes and chills at your place.

He only contacts you when he wants something.

@JoannaSimkin on twitter tweets you may be a side chick if he says:

“It’s not that I don’t want people to know about us, I just don’t like my personal business in the streets is all.”

Now after all that if you still are not sure if you are side chick here is another link that may help:

http://brotherswithnogame.com/blog/signs-you-may-just-be-the-side-chick/

Ladies, we are STRONG, we are FIERCE. Let me leave you with a question.

At what point does this stop? Or does it? At what point do we feel we are worth more?

Demand respect!

Yup, that's me

This is just my opinion on the subject and I could on and on but just wanted to let that all out and see what you all think. Feel free to chime in.

Blog ya later!

Secret of the Summer

Good evening everyone guess who :)




Long time no blog huh? I know, I know.  You know honestly I have been wanting to blog for a while but to be quite honest I have just been so scatter brained lately I figured you all would think I was crazy. Well let's see any huge topics to discuss.  So many yet none at all, tell me you know that feeling? Ok, well let me just tell you about the highlight of my summer.  LOL I hope I don't lose you.

So this summer I got to take my daughter to Disney World. Now for some this is no big deal but for our household this is HUGE.  I planned this along with my cousin months in advance.
As time grew nearer to our trip other family and friends were made of aware.  Everyone loved sharing in on the secret.  All the while my daughter was under the impression we were going to visit our cousins in Texas. I'm a stinker ain't I?! Well I had to tell her something she was 7 and they are inquisitive. However, I accepted the challenge of keeping this secret! I even bought her a new Mickey Mouse suitcase and a coworker got her Minnie Mouse Pj's and tee hee she missed the subtle hints, she never imagined! She had the calendar marked to countdown the day we leave to go to "Texas."

Countdown to Texas

 I loved every minute but I tell you, easy to keep it was not.  I wanted to blurt it out soooooo bad! Anyway,s there I go babbling.  We were all set headed to Texas! We check bags and take our first flight to connect in Chicago where the big reveal was planned! Again, she was 7 and doesn't know sense of direction to say "Hey Mom, why are we going to Chicago but we are headed south to Texas?" LOL. At any rate we get our snacks and I sneak away to talk to the flight attendants to set it all up! I give them the personalized tickets I had for her and her cousin (oh did I mention they were with us and in on the surprise? mwhahahahaha). So as we gather our items to get ready to board for "Texas" we hear my daughters name over the loud speaker. She turned and looked like...

Her first inkling was oh man, am I in trouble? She looked to me for something and I just had a blank stare.  I just told her oooo you better go see why they need you. Hope there is nothing wrong with your seat. So she reluctantly goes over and says..."I'm Hailey" they said oh ok what flight are you on. She answered, "Texas" the attendant says ooooo not today Hailey I'm sorry.  She had a look of shock on her face coupled with a look to me as if you say mom this lady has lost her mind.  She said no looks like you are going to.... *she pulls out her special ticket* 

Bam!!! So everyone around is all like "awww" and smiling loving the moment. My daughter, however, was in a state of disbelief.  She looked like she wanted to say 'look lady your are crazy we are headed to Texas.' Instead she stood there letting it soak in and she said to me "Mom we are going to Disney?" I said yes she  then said "well when?" I said "umm right now!!  This is our flight!" She was stunned and still in shock by this time! It was such a special memory for us both. My child was excited but I tell you what, when they say Disney is magical boy they aren't kidding!  She was excited, but when were the ferry boat and she got her first glimpse of the Magic Kingdom I thought she was going to burst from excitement. 

OMG she just saw Magic Kingdom in view

We had a blast and loved every single moment of it. The best part is when they look at you so intentionally and say" OMG WOW this is the best thank you and you are the best mom ever and I appreciate you."  Man there aren't to many things that can top that level of love and appreciation in that moment.  All the budgeting I did to make this happen was all worth it!! Disney truly is a place of memories! Memories we will cherish always! Well I will catch you later, I have a few other things to tell you about . Blog ya later!

Best Fireworks show ever. Magic Kingdom

Power of Your Posts & Words on the Web

Good Morning everyone,

Long time no see, hope everyone is well :)

 

 

So I read and hear a lot of folks saying something that may be offensive, mean or distasteful hey I'm sure we have all done it no one is perfect. However, when someone addresses that or says something about it I often here "hey it's only the internet why do people take things so seriously?!"

I think one main point is that the internet can't be taken to lightly. Why? Because everyone and anyone is on it engaging hours and hours a day! That is a HUGE impact. Rather one would like to believe it or not, that can shape and has shaped the opinions of a lot of people on a lot of various topics. You should not underestimate your power on the web and the influence you have.

As silly or trivial as it may seem to you people have lost their lives or been harmed by things said on the internet.  While a lot of things are said in jest. How often do we stop and think how would we feel if that was us being talked about or paraded around like a clown show or be raided?

Now do some put themselves in those situations to be laughed at purposely, absolutely! However,  there are often images paraded around and made fun of that are not intentional. You say it's the internet its not that serious...well maybe not to you but stop thinking about yourself for a minute and realize the power you have.  People have committed suicide behind things posted online.

This is just my random thoughts on the subject. Do I post funny pics but I try to avoid the degrading ones UNLESS its painfully obvious and even then I don't go over board. We have to be sensitive to all things when posting or we can choose selfishness and be like that kid in school that had to make every one laugh by laughing at other versus finding other way of humor OR by bullying that kid who wasn't as popular.  You think the internet is not that serious, well to you I say... WAKE UP!
drops the mic
 I'm going to cook breakfast

My Stick to Help Save a Life...My First Experience Giving Blood

OK all so just wanted to share my #TakeAStickToSaveAlife experience.

So today was my first time ever giving blood. I figure with all going on in the world it’s my small part to help.  Whoever is on the receiving end will be in need. Now that was my reason….so I go on down to register and fill out the 50 questions questionnaire…so once  they knew I was drug/STD free oh yeah and that I don’t pay for sex, I was on to the next stage.  The mini physical but alas I didn’t know I would get stuck twice they had to do a finger stick to check my ol hemoglobin…tee hee I always like saying that…HEEEEEEE mo globin.  Ooook at any rate I digress.  So the nurse lady I had, Ms. Paulette was just as sweet as pie.
She talked to me and asked me stuff I know just to divert my attention.  Well then it was time, it was time for the stick to save a life and let my juicy veins runneth over, well all least in a little tube.  Ok so she gets me all prepped and I'm comfy on this bed made for a large person which swallowed me whole.  So she then says you wanna see or no…I'm like Ms. Paulette..cmon..she said ok well look out the window it’s a nice.. *ooooo* she stuck me… I looked like dammit Ms. Paulette that was a good one.

So we began I had the ball in my hand I had to squeeze and let go over and over during the process…then *beep beep beep* Ms. Paulette ran over to me and I’m like o_O wha wha wha, am I dying Lord no?! She laughed and said you are a character but no your blood flow is fluctuating from heavy to light and we want it to be in the middle…so she had me situated my arm some…then still beeping…so another lady came on who was the Sensei Needle Sticker as I lovingly referred to her as. Checked and adjusted the needle ever so slightly to get the flow right.

Great right?! EHHHHH about two minutes later…everything started getting dim…a wave of nauseousness came over me. Yup came close to tosses my cookies then sleepiness...I heard Ms. Paulette say Toya you have to stay woke...*clap clap* Toya tell me about your baby. My response groggily was "we can talk about her when I wake up." I heard Ms. Paulette yell she is having trouble staying woke I need a break...I heard a snap then a strong odor of ammonia in my nose...causing me to damn dear jump off the table...I was like o_O dude I'm up I'm up! Sweet Jesus I'm up...I then wondered why I was wet. Ms. Paulette had put cool wet towels on my head, neck and stomach because I'd gotten extremely hot. I said OK can I stop...she said if you want baby you only have about 2 mins left.

I then thought about those in need and said nope I'm good. I will do this...next thing I know a wave came over me.  No more nauseousness, no over overload of heat, I was alert. I finished out and and I got snacks and apple juice. Since I was so awesome the ladies gave me seconds...then I said loudly in the donation room sweet open bar! Everyone laughed.. I then was raised up slowly with my bandaged donation arm...no dizziness I then sat at the table just to make sure I was good to go. The ladies said I deserved not one but two stickers! :) (the little things right). Ms. Paulette said sweetie the hardest part is getting people in here to donate. Now what u experiences happens to some people on their first time. We took care of you and hope you considering helping again. I told her absolutely! I don't scare that easy. So I came on back to my office and what was my experience #TakingAStickToSaveALife I hope you all consider giving ;) if so go to savealife.org to register :)

Catch ya later. I'm trying this blog from the mobile app thing lol

New Age Dating Controversy..Hang Out or Not to Hang Out

Hey there guys! How are ya?! I sure hope everything is going well in your worlds.
You thought it would be another 6 months before I blogged didn't you? AHA well ha ha look at me.  Ok, well enough shooting the breeze just wanted to get some stuff off my chest or at least post about it and open this up for discussion.  I had a discussion with some of my G+ friends regarding the topic I am about to address. This blog is just me getting my thoughts out and maybe gaining some insight from you all, if you actually decide to comment! *hint hint*

Ok so if you have read any of my previous blogs you know about my adventures in dating. Well now, let me take that back it's been around but become more IN MY FACE it's the subject of, wait for iiiiittttttttt...Dating vs. Hanging Out.

Ok now once upon a time I thought the two to be the same thing if you just met the person. 

Well apparently that is no longer the case.  Now guys apparently just want to hang out vs go on a date.  What this usually means in my recent experiences is they...

A) Want you to come "hang out" with them at their place.
B) Want to come "hang out" at your place.
C) Go out but we are dutch and essentially are new "friends" (but they expect "benefits")

Umm well ok.  Now, I get the "go out with someone with no strings attached stance" because well we are getting to know one another, GOT IT. That is perfectly fine and expected! However, I guess my issues are well frankly, "I DON'T KNOW YOU!!"

What makes you think I am just going to come over to your house?! You know how many crazy people there are these days?!... and that goes for you coming to my place too.  Also, what that says is YOU'RE LAZY and maybe even CHEAP (and that's saying a lot coming from penny pinching me) and perhaps are only after one thing and I can tell ya now...AIN'T HAPPENIN!!

Now am I a saint?  NO,  but I do have some standards. After all we just met, right?  Now as far as (C) going out and going dutch...honestly, I have no issues with that.  Because if we "hang out" and there is nothing there I don't feel obligated in the least to when I am done eating or drinking that cup of coffee, I can say thanks for your time and move on along.  There will be no benefits though, let me clarify there will be no benefits regardless. Now with this said my expectations for you would now be pretty low. 

I am by no means a gold digger etc.  However, if  someone asks me out on a date it holds a lot more weight with me. It says to me,  hey I like you I want to get to know you and I have designated this time to spend with you and I have put some effort in to thinking of a time, place and activity for us to do together.  That by no means in my mind means we are about to get serious.  It just says to me, Toya this person thinks you are worth the effort and the interest is real. Versus the lazy invitation to come "chill at their place and watch a movie." Don't get me wrong been there done and ehh learned from it.  That is whack.  I guess I am in a place of now take time and effort and not settle for that laziness at first meetings.

I have been made to feel that my thinking is "old fashioned" and "outdated" one word...Really?! Really?! In fact, is wanting a guy to put forth an effort me being old fashioned and having too high standards? Oh, man!! I'm doomed!! 

Now are there instances where you would hang out (in a group, sporting event etc)? Yes, but I am speaking to that first one on one meeting with that person since that initial meeting and exchange of phone numbers be it in person, online or whatever. I have read several articles and blogs regarding hanging out vs. dating.  Some say it's a matter of terms, other say it's all about how the guy feels about girl. 

So many hidden meanings, so much... crap frankly.  Are guys afraid to go out on a limb and date someone for fear of rejection? Are they just trying to build up a bank of booty calls...I mean what is it?  When I hang out I do so with my friends...but if I hang out in the same fashion with a new guy. Odds are he will think well geez she put no effort forth at all and I was not the center of attention when I was with her, so she must not be interested. Then my response will be wait, what? We are hanging out as friends no expectations right? So you won't mind that I send texts, or answer phones calls etc while we are hanging out right, meet you straight dressed down? Well I mean that is what I do with my friends when we hang out. So which is it? 

What do you guys think? I'm somewhat at a loss here. Is hanging out different than dating? If so, how? If you disagree or have a different understanding of the two please enlighten me. Ok, well I just wanted to get that out and see what you guys think...let me know I'll be interested in reading your comments. 

Is my thinking old fashioned and outdated?

Well talk to you guys later I hope to hear from you guys on this topic...

 

Have a good week :)

Laughter Heals So Here Are 2 Pick Me Up's!

Hey guys sup *head nod up* (see that I'm hardcore & cool)...

Ha ha looks whose back... awwwww ficky ficky yeah twice in a week!


Eh well I said I would be back! So here I am.  Now this will be a not so serious post like the last travesty that I had to address.  At any rate, the last couple weeks I have been exposed to two little gems that I must say have introduced a new level of silly humor into my life! I have been spreading the words to share in the laughter...and so far so good!! So let's get right to it shall we?

The first little gem was introduced to me in a weird late night Voxer message from one of my best buds...Lorraine. She said you have got to read this book!!! It is hilarious!!!!  So of course I asked what is it about, then I asked the name.  Well when Lorraine said the book is called... *waaaaaiiit for it* Emails from An A%#hole ,  oh yeah I was intrigued.  
Inside I thought, yup that has funny all over it BUT wait, with a title like that the title may be the best thing about it.  So, I got the book to check it out and see for myself it was really THAT funny.  

Ok so I read it in like two days, I think I would have read it one expect for the minor asthma attacks of laughter I had and massive pools of tears coming from my eyes!!

OOOHHHHHHH EEEEEMMMMMMM GGEEEEEEEEEE this book was super hilarious! It all started from a website dontevenreply.com.
HA! Now you are intrigued and want to know what the book is about...well here is a brief summary because I totally don't want to ruin it for you.

When John Lindsay launched DontEvenReply.com in June 2009, it became an instant sensation. With 60% of the book featuring entirely new material never before available on the website, Emails from an Asshole offers fans a fresh opportunity to revel in people's gullibility. Posing as a customer or seller, Lindsay responded to a variety of classified ads, making ridiculous offers to unsuspecting victims. Their responses, and the ensuing conversations, will have readers simultaneously laughing non-stop and gasping with disbelief.

Also, John has plenty more stories on his site www.dontevenreply.com which should also listed on the links on my site here. :)  You can get the book at Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Apple Store and the Android Play Store.  

This gets two thumbs up from me and I think you should buy or download it today! Thanks Lorraine for the recommendation!!! You rock as always!  If you guys read some of his stuff, please let me know how you like it. The very first story in the book is one of my favorites and the Paraplegic Mover.

Alright now that you are ready to make that purchase or visit your nearest torrent site to download let's move on to the next little gem of humor I was introduced to this past weekend. The game is called...wait for it...CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY.  Ever heard of it? HA, yeah me neither until my ol buddy Justin invited me to his lil kick ass birthday soiree, in which the evening began with drinks and Card Against Humanity.

Now show of hands how many your have ever heard of or played this game?

Great well Cards Against Humanity is just like this...NOT!! Ok ok well the game play is the same but the cards...oh buddy are so not PG and  Prude friendly. 

 If you are easily offended then Cards Against Humanity is not for you!

Oh wait let me back up...some people haven't play Apples to Apples either so here is a brief idea of how to play (although there are many variations). In the game you are dealt certain number of cards (usually 7 or 10). On those cards nouns or proper nouns are listed. You then have another stack of cards (green cards in Apples and Black cards in Cards Against Humanity).  Well the players take turns picking from that pile from their they read the sentence on the card and all other players then complete the sentence with the card they thing that person will pick (answers usually are creative, funny appealing to the person who has the sentence card). The person with the sentence card picks the answer they like best and which ever player put it down gets that stack..at the end of the game players with the most cards wins. Ok, that is it in a nutshell minus a few idiosyncrasies.

Well with Card Against Humanity well first of all the box is already offensive because you segregate cards the black cards and the white cards...the answers on those cards OMG hilarious! Some of them are actually normal but then the questions are crazy! You will see how crazy your friends are... 

This game was a straight up winner and a must purchase for adult gatherings!! You can purchase the game at www.CardsAgainstHumanity.com  also if you want to try it out, you can actually download the cards and print them out and play...that seems a little weird playing with slips of paper but eh to each his own!

My rating for Cards Against Humanity...Thanks Justin...buddy you sir are awesome! Anyways my rating is...

But seriously again, make these apart of your week and I guarantee you will crack up laughing and as we all know laughter heals the soul!! We cannot be serious ALL the time these two little gems blessed me with some laughter so I thought I would pass them along to you.  If you play let me know how you like.  I think there is a Card Against Humanity App or similar in the Android Playstore I'm going to try to get some friends to play if they can break away from Ruzzle lol!!

Ok well gotta go but please let me know what you think of these two!

Laters!