I Would Much Rather Rip Out My Toenails Vs. Dating Again...Life After Break Up or Divorce

Weeelllll.. you like many Americans, scratch that like many people in the world have just gotten out of a long term relationship or marriage...

Well, I sympathize with you...it's especially bad when the other party has wronged you in some way...I know.. there,there it sucks, I know trust me but join the club we have t-shirts...

Well the one thing I can suggest is to listen and down load the song "I'll Pray For You" by Jaron and the Long Road home (YouTube It). It is quite theraputic...tee hee trust me. Once you've done that and are actively dealing with your anger then guess what time it is? You guessed it it's time to move on. Let's face it who wants to be alone for the rest of your life unless your like 92 and know your days are numbered. Ok, that was just wrong...moving on...

Ok so now let's tackle some of the idiosyncrasies of dating and hell lets be honest, just finding someone to even go out with...

There, there do not fret or be scared although it is a scary dating scene out there. For some of the following reasons...

A) Because you have just a bunch of horny toads out there, male and female. Let's face it everyone is not out just to get laid. My goodness folks have some morals and self respect.

B) You have some down low criminals out there, when I meet someone I find myself whipping out my smartphone and googling them and then on to watchdog.com to ensure they are not a felon or sex offender. *please note felons need love too, but ehhh not so much mine, again just being honest*

C) They are married hell that may have been how you caught your your ex

D) They have no clue what a job is, can't hold a conversation or lets face it, they are just plain weird but not in a weird normal way, of course lol.

Those are just a few reasons but we will get through this together...from one splitee to another. =). I have been away from the dating since for about 10 years *shut up no smart comments on age.*

I asked a few of my single friends, "Hey how do you do this again?" Of course they laughed. I will go over some of the following ideas they gave me and my experiences with those. You may find it humorous but I'm sure you will be able to identify if you have tried any of these.

The Millenium Dating Tactic: Internet/Online Dating Well I have not experienced the picture to the left but many of you have. I have done some online chatting and to my chagrin been basically a waste of time. Either you get a buttload of horny toads sending you random picture of their penises (oh yeah I really want that disease), or you get just complete and utter strange birds talkin in excessive geek talk. Then when they send you a picture you see why they didn't have one up to begin. Then you either just stop talking to them or or give them one word answers till they get the hint and move on. Again, another reality check we can say beauty is on the inside but we are going to be initally attracted with our eyes.

Next up: Club/Bar Scene:

This age old method has been a total bust because you end up seeing the same ol people getting drunk out of this world. Or if your me you get gawked and followed by the ugliest dude in the place, or the cute dude who just wants to nail you. This is my least favorite of them all, I have to say this phase of my life went out in college. The main reason I hate this scene is because it never fails I end up seeing stuff like this...

*Lord help me my eyes are burning...*

Let's move to less evasive dating tactics...let's face it we are not that desperate...right?..right?! Ok then...

The Grocery Store aka Walmart for me:

We all wish there was that fine as wine man with a great smile just waiting for us on the produce aisle to strike up a conversation. Mine would go *ahem* something like this...

Handsome Man (in my head the Rock) "Oh hey there beautiful! let me get that sack of potatoes for you." Me: "Oh why thank you Mr. Handsome man at the grocery store with no ring on." Then we would laugh and progress from there.

Ok,real world what do we really see at the grocery store or Walmart...

This hot mess right here...fella's please don't come out of the house looking like this...Geez!! So we press on to a couple more avenues before we give up...

Next up: The Gym:

Most of the time, I am at the gym like the guys. Honestly, I'm focused on the task at hand, my workout. However, every now and then someone may catch my eye as I'm sure is true for you guys sometimes. Usually it ends there...I am old fashioned and will not approach a guy but if I go into the gym... I usually crack jokes and show more attention to the one that has caught my attention...*Got that ladies, dont miss that hint*

* I.e. while playing basketball talk "stuff".. say things like, while he is holding the basketball "I dont know what your going to do with that you don't know how to use it..." Trust me works everytime. Ehh then you get to talking to them and see ENNNGGHHHH not very bright so yet again we move on. *Please note yet again that would never happen if it were the Rock *wink wink call me*

Last but certainly not least...

CHURCH: The Lord's House

Ok we are not at church for dating we are there to get the Lord's word and spiritual feeding...GOT THAT. However, lets' be real yet again. How many of you ladies noticed the fine gentlemen sitting a few pews over alone? Or fella's saw that beautiful woman doing the same? Well what do you do? Hell, I don't know again being honest. I haven't found that at church not to say I wouldn't but so far all the good looking ones are married. Which yay for them right that was me before. I'll expand on this one more as it happens. Expected more in this section didn't you? Please beware though the devil is in church too. So we must be careful here as well. Ha ha sorry.

Moral of this blog is: We cannot look for, seek out and find the mate for us. We have to sit back live our lives, pray and when God is ready to bless us with that special "right" someone this time we will be ready. That special someone could be at any of the above situation or in thousands of other situations. I feel the fustration with dating lol so I chose to blog in jest about it. HEY!! who ever gets this chica *ahem The Rock call me!* Will have a good one on their hands. So stay in prayer and live your life and let Mr./Mrs. Right find you but don't waste time with Mr/Mrs Wrong, I don't care if the sex is good...you got that!!

Til next time...