Blog from the Sanctity of my Comfy Couch...What Are You Holding on to?

I just had to share this with you all! Hilarious, but at the same time it clearly shows the simpleness of Donald Trump. It's amazing how some people are so dead set on things that don't matter just because they don't like a certain class of people, rather it be race, sex, political party, socio-economic status etc. Just a note to just stop! Agree to disagree on something and focus on things that really matter!

You know what though? In all honesty, we laugh and joke about it but don't we all do this to some extent? Let's be honest with ourselves here. I know I have. Now wait I'm not saying you or I have been judgmental of other as "The Donald" has. I mean we get stuck on something and just can't let go. Then we look back after time has passed like what in the world was I doing spinning my wheels wasting time on something that a) I couldn't change B) Didn't really matter or C) Both A and B. Another scary thought...how many of us are still holding on to something that doesn't matter? Just marinate and think on that! Remember live life and laugh often.

Often things from the past should remain just there! It's hard to move forward always looking back, makes it hard to progress. In a sense treat your past like a phone call "When the past calls, let it go to voice mail. It has nothing new to say." I think as emotional beings its hard for us to wipe the slate clean but for our own sanity we have to, even though that can be a lengthy process. But hey we have to start somewhere...right?

Ok, when I started typing this I had no clue where I was going with this since I have so much squished up in my big ol brain right now. LOL yeah I said big ol brain *blank stare* don't judge me! Hey we've talked about this you judging me issue previously now! LOL.

Moral of this blog...soul search if you are holding on to something that truly doesn't really matter or you really can't change it...do me a favor...no scratch that do YOU a favor! Let it go, move on! Your happiness awaits :) and once you clean the crap out of your heart it will leave room for all the good stuff headed your way!

Ok ya'll well that's my time! I must go prep dinner...what are we having? Oh well aren't you nosy....but lol I am making baked spaghetti with fresh Mozzarella yum right, I know!

Ok well I will leave you with another video from the same dinner from Seth Meyers...lol he ticked the Donald off talking about his hair! LOL

Blog ya later

Blog from my email inbox...

I got these from a friend in email and I was in tears almost laughing! I had to share it with you all!! If these don't crack you up then it's something wrong with you, I'm just saying!

This one makes me go "tee hee hee"

Hmmm only 25, iinteresting LOL

OMG...who knew?! *blank stare*

Wow maybe this is why Hermie died? Who knew he needed water...lol

Oh yeah because prostitution is so close to stopping at a railroad crossing...*blank stare*

This sounds like an employer I know...no comment

Shut up...caskets in a mausoleum..Noooooooooooooooo

**MMMMEEESSSAAAAGGGGEEEEEEEEE**

I'm sorry...bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

*Blank Stare*

...Cree...py...lol

Maybe they should have tazed him? Ok maybe not!

Darn it they blanked the # seems like a good deal!

*BLANK STARE*

**OOOO I've already sent my info in! I'm ready to go**

What is it concrete?

*Blank Stare*

*Thinking* Anyone I know can use this..hmmm...

I guess this is the thinking of home grown Americans....wow!

Well just had to blog this quick funny email. Hope you enjoyed!

Blogging by the Pool Side Adventures!

Well hello there...!

I am just sitting here at my kids' swimming lessons. Its the last week and I have to admit I am a bit glad I must say. "Why is that?" You ask. Well watching my kid learning to swim is a proud moment let me tell you it really is...she is getting good, hey maybe she will be the first awesome black female swimmer! Ok I digress...you want to know swimming class is such an episode. Well let me break it down for you and give you the characters.

First up we have the "Senior Water Aerobic Erotica class"...why in heavens would I call them that you ask? Well here is a snippet of what I see twice a week every week for 8 weeks. Look at this short video and I took and tell me it isn't x-rated! You naughty seniors you! Ok, now after my eyes stop burning from this display of soft porn we shall move on...

Next Character, I like to refer to as..."Senorita Diarrhea of the Mouth"...oh no what could that possibly mean? Oh wow, great question...well, from the time we enter the parking lot this lady is talking til the time we leave...non frigging stop!!!

Every week the entire group of parents are blessed with her wonderful stories and adventures for the week.

Including but not limited too..

-The family Christmas trip to Hawaii

-The Upcoming summer vacation on a

Disney Cruise followed by a week at Disney World

-Her son got bit by a dog...oh NO!

-Neighbors son got into Kindergarten but she swore his birthday was after the allowed cut off & she is going to check into it!

I think collectively as a group all of us hard working non silver spoon fed parents sit silently with a blank stare thinking dear God please strike now.

Then there are the kids who run around like "wild banshees!"

They run around setting off alarms, throwing things around, beating on the vending machines, talking crazy and there parents sit there like they have no clue it's going on.

Yet again all the parents all sit biting our lips with a blank stare...waiting for one of the children of the corn to run by one of us so we might accidently put our foot out and ....oooops *trip* (Lord forgive me that wasn't right but just being honest.)

See, now do you feel my pain?...of course you do!! Always an adventure. However, there is a moral to this story....I just can't remember what that is right now...but hey don't judge me!

Oh yeah, moral of the story, GOT IT...there is always an adventure to be had...why...because people are funny. That's why! So the next time you're out sitting at a doctors office waiting room, restaurant etc just stop to take a look around and take it all in, because don't forget Weird is Normal and hilarious all at the same time! Until next time...ado!

Blog entry in the Land of Latte

Wow! So I have not updated my blog in quite sometime....whoa, horrible me huh? Yeah well, hey don't judge me! HA! Well I am attempting to do what all cool bloggers do..which is pitch camp at a coffee shop, pop open the ol netbook and get to going right? So... *ahem* at Latteland *check*, got my medium white chocolate mocha latte and super huge gourmet sugar cookie *check*, netbook powered up and connected to free wifi *check.* Ok, so I guess that makes me official (yeah i'm fancy)! HA, now that I have walked you through my set up, I've completely drawn a blank! My mind is just spiraling pit of ideas that have just evaded me! UGH! DANG IT!

AHA *thought popped in*, recently I took a picture of a picture, that's right! (again don't judge me) but it really caught me off guard! Captured a great concept/idea.

Ok so tell me you get it? If not its ok, I'll give you my take on it. Sometimes we start off looking on the bright side of life then somewhere along the road we lose site of that for whatever reason and often we go into worry/panic mode. Well at least this is what this simple picture that is playing on an eye exam chart says to me.

Not to go into my whole life story and struggle but I have been through some VERY trying times this past year that a weak person would buckle at easily! I lost site of looking on the bright side and when you do that you end up in a dark place and a negative person. Let me tell you not a good look at all! However, because I am a believer of Christ I know where to go to gain strength, patience and knowledge to get back on track so I did! So in the word of Bobby McFarren (I think that's his name) Don't Worry Be Happy! Well also in my recent bible meditation and reading I was studying on worrying and how that plagues us. I was reading in Matthew 6:34 it reads " Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." This touched me and was an eye opener for me as a believer of Christ to say.. hey, if I say, "God I'll let you handle it." I need to let him, he sure doesn't need my feeble attempt to help him do what he has already done!

Well I know usually I have jokes and that will come BUT alot of people around me are going through storms, big and small. Sometimes we all need a little encouragement and in the word of a great ideologist I know that I will refer to as the great Brigini "sometimes apathy goes along way!" May not mean much to you now but add that into your balance of life a little apathy and then you will totally get it!

Here is one more image I will leave you with...

Not a moment too soon!...This older gentleman at the tall table next to me is killing me playing solitaire on his laptop with all the sounds on...so I'll i've been hearing is the annoyng *Dink dink dink dink..* of him dragging and dropping cards then tada! when he wins! I just want to walk up to him give him the old *blank stare* and say sir #FAIL, now go on home with that! However, that thought has been drowned out by a college aged girl with a horrid lisp (spit city I can see it all the way over here when I look up). She is talking to a friend about another girl in the sorority house. #Gossip/Backstabbing now in progress. LOL, this has been quite the silent adventure. One guy just had an epic fail moment he got his coffee, scone, all cords for his computer pulled out..AHA! so he thought and WHAM no power cord and his laptop is dead as a door knob (*cringe* ooo feel for ya buddy). Nothing like hearing someone cuss themselves out! Pure hilariousness...wait is that a word?...ok, what did I tell you about the judging thing *blank stare.* Ok well blog you guys later...*dink dink* maybe even today *dink dink* see that even you guys hear that stupid solitaire game! Ok, like a burnt out light bulb...Be easy breezies! Stay blessed! I'm out!

You want to Tweet but You Don't Know How...Look No Further!

This is blog entry is dedicated to all those who have asked me or someone you know (and inspired by my friend Rhodonna B)…”ok what exactly is twitter and tweeting.” This is a quick way to get you adjusted to the place us tweeters know and love as the twitterverse.

Ok first things first...

What is a tweet?

A tweet is a post or status update that is limited to 140 characters

Here are a few things you will need to know when entering the twitterverse:

Followers:

These are people who you may or may not know but they care enough to read your tweets. Please note if you bore them to tears they may unfollow you.

Who you Follow:

These are people you may or may not know. What they tweet will be on your timeline. Some p

eople start with following celebrities, friends, fam etc. There is no wrong or right way to chose who to follow and if it turns out someone is boring or not your cup o tea simply unfollow them. It’s a beautiful thing.

Timeline:

This is the listing of tweets updated as people you follow tweet. Your timeline can change tremendously in a short amount of time depending on who you follow and how much they tweet.

Hashtags:

Twitter provided no easy way to group tweet so the Twitter community came up with their own way: hashtags. A hashtag helps add tweets to a category. Hashtags have the 'hash' or 'pound' symbol (#) preceding the tag, like so: #traffic, #followfriday, #hashtag #TeamAndroid. Hashtags can occur anywhere in the tweet: some people just add a #before a word they're using. If you add a hashtag to your tweet and you have a public account, anyone who does a search for that hashtag may find your tweet.(Example: I love the Rock #HOT)

Mentions:

Once you follow someone if they are following you a mention is the ‘@’ used to talk directly to someone. (Example: Hey are you going to sweep me off my feet or what? @DwayneJohnson) If you use a mention to someone it will show up in the mentions column on their twitter or whatever twitter app they are using on their phone.

Retweet

Let’s say you read a tweet that you think is great and you want all of your followers to see it. You would "retweet" it by clicking the retweet button. Which basically post the same tweet giving credit to the original tweeter but you are putting in in front of your followers to see. There is also an option to retweet with a comment. (For Example: RT @MotivationalQuotes: Live everyday as if it’s your last< #amen awesome quote) Do you see how I added my own comment with the arrow and text to separate the two.

Trending Topics:

These are topics that are all the buzz on twitter at the moment. If you are on twitter on your computer the trending topics are usually in a list on the right hand side. Usually celebs trend, big US or world events, some times silly jokes. In order to get in on the trending topics you tweet about it and use a hashtag and the trending topic (TT). (For example: wow #JustinBieber is trending again huh)

Searches:

Desktop twitter as well as all twitter apps have a search feature that allows you to look for certain topics, people, tweeters nearby etc. Skies the limit. Good way to find people to follow search some of your interest and follow some of the people who have the same.

Lists:

Twitter users can now organize users they follow (or users that they don’t) into groups, or “lists”. I personally don’t use them too much. However, you may have a list of just family that way you can keep up easily with them or just a set of ppl whose tweets you don’t want to miss. Please note you can have more than one.

Protected Tweets vs Non Protected Tweets

This is purely your call if you don’t want everyone able to access your tweets protect them which means they person has to get permission before they can see your tweets. However, I recommend not tweeting for personal information you don’t want anyone seeing regardless.

Twitlonger:

This is a way to let you post to Twitter when 140 characters just isn't enough. This is usually used when you go a little over. Twitter is not the place to start writing your latest novel.

That’s the basics as far as tweeting but before we end there are a couple more things:

If you need to post a picture to twitter here are a few programs that will do so with ease:

• Yfrog
• Twitpic
• Twicsy
• Twitgoo

Most people tweet from there mobile devices so here are a few apps for the popular platforms. There is no wrong or right one which ever one suits you. When tweeting from my Evo my app of choice is Twidroid but I will list some below. Its not a full list but it will get you started on your new adventure!

Android Devices phones & Tablets:

• Twidroid (Pro optional)
• Tweetdeck
• Twicca
• Touiteur
• TweetCaster
• Seesmic

IPhone/Ipod Touch/IPad:

• Echofon/Twitterfon
• Twittie
• Twitteriffic
• Twittelator
• Twinkle

Blackberry:

• UberTwitter
• Seesmic
• Tweetcaster

Just have fun and jump in once you get the hang of it you'll be hooked and meet tons of cool people. There is a lot more functionality to twitter that I wasn't able to address because I didn't want think blog entry to be a novel but just sign up and click around! You'll be a pro in no time! Feel free to follow me I will follow you back. My twitter name is toya10!

Felt Compelled to Share

Hello All,

I know you are all used to my slapstick humor regarding everyday happenings, but I felt compelled to take a break from that and share a teaching/sermon on something that affects us all...fear. The sermon text has enough length to it. Soooooo I won't ramble on even more. Just know I was blessed by it and I hope you are too.

7 Truths About Fear

by Mark Driscoll “Jesus and Anxiety,” preached out of Luke 12:22-34:

Who are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? Let me unpack fear for you. And fear begins in the mind. Fear begins in the mind. I’ll give you some insights on fear and on facing fear.

1. Fear is vision without optimism.

Some of you are visionaries. You can see the future. Not perfectly, but you know where the economy’s going. You know where your life is going. You know where your health is going. You know where your relationships are going. You know where your vocation is going. You have an idea of what’s next. You can see down the road. But you don’t have any optimism and so you’re fearful. “Oh my gosh, that’s going to go bad. That could go bad. That could go sideways. That could hurt. That could be costly. That could fail.”

Fear seems reasonable to us even when it’s irrational. How many of you have irrational fears? And people will try and reason with you. It doesn’t make any difference. You’re like, “You’re being crazy.” Okay, just so you know, if they are, reasoning probably isn’t going to fix it, because by definition they’re being unreasonable. So what we have is this entire list of things that people are afraid of. Some of them are irrational, but they’re rational to the people. They’re irrational to us, but they’re rational to them. I’ll give you some examples. This is going to be an intense sermon, we need little emotional break. You’re welcome. All right.

• Are you afraid of that? Okay. If so, here’s what you have, coulrophobia, a fear of clowns. It’s actually a diagnosis. And I’ll tell you what, I don’t care even if you don’t have this, if you see a clown after midnight, they’re scary. That’s a clown up to no good.
• How about this one? Does this scare you? Peanut butter. If so, you may have—and I went to public school so I don’t know how this is going to go, but—arachibutyrophobia, which means—it’s the clinical definition of fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. You say, “I didn’t even know I had that. Now I—”
• How about this one? Okay. Are you scared of that? If so, here’s what you have. Germanophobia. It is the fear of German people, which is a real bummer if you have that and are German. You’re very fearful.
• How about this one? All right, my good friend, Dr. John Piper. If this frightens you, this man frightens you, here is what you may have. Homilophobia, which is a fear of sermons. Some of you say, “That’s it. That’s why I’m never coming back. I have a fear of sermons.” It’s actually a diagnosis.

And some of you don’t find this funny at all. You’re not laughing. It may be because you have geliophobia, which is a fear of laughter. So I apologize for making fun of you. All right, some fears are rational, some are irrational, but they’re always rational to the person who has them.

Back to the list. Here’s what fear’s about and I’ve observed this through counseling and being a pastor and dealing with people’s lives, including my own. Fear is about … not getting what we want. So your hope is hung on something. “I want to get married. I don’t think I’m going to get married. I’m fearful.” “We want to have kids. I don’t think we’re going to have kids. We’re fearful.” “I want to graduate. I don’t think I’m going to graduate.” “I want a job.” “I want to serve God.” “I want to go into ministry.” “I want to own a house.” I—whatever. “I want a promotion. I don’t think it’s going to happen.” And the fear comes in. “I’m not going to get it. It’s not going to happen. The answer’s no.” And the fear comes in. “What will happen? What else will happen? How will I exist?”

2. Fear is that we’ll get what we want and lose it.

There’s a fear. That’s why sometimes success is more fearful than failure. “We’re married! What if we get divorced?” “We’re pregnant! What if we miscarry?” “The child was born! What if they die? Or what if they don’t love God?” “I got the job! The economy’s rough. What if I get fired?” “We got the house! What if we can’t make the mortgage? What then?” It’s the fear of getting something your heart longs for and then losing it. That can cause fear.

3. Fear is that we’ll get what we don’t want.

“I got cancer. I don’t want it.” “I got fired. That’s not what I wanted.” “My spouse left. Nobody wants to marry me.” “This isn’t want I wanted.” And fear comes. You feel that? You feel it in the room, can’t you? It’s real.

4. Fear reveals our values.

Fear reveals our loves, our priorities, our longings. You only fear losing what you love. You only fear getting what you hate. It reveals a lot about what is essential to us, what is primary for us.

5. Fear increases with more freedom.

The more choices, the more potential scenarios for not getting what you want, getting what you want and losing it, or getting something you don’t want, getting it wrong. How many of you find as you get older and you have more choices and more freedoms, there’s more fear? It’s more stressful? This dawned on me not long ago at the grocery store. Walked down the cereal aisle, “Oh! I have to pick one. “And this will affect breakfast indefinitely, “which is the most important meal of the day some would say. “This could set in motion a whole month of my life “in a positive or negative direction. “Do I go for the bran? Do I go for the sugar? “I have gluten allergies, but all of those seem to be the tasty ones. Will I deny myself? Argh!” It’s amazing. How many of you just—the number of choices? “Where are we going to live? What are we going to do? What is my degree going to be? Who am I going to marry? There are a lot of people on the earth, I need to pick one. Argh!” You know, all these choices, they lead to fears out of our freedoms.

6. Fear turns us into false prophets.

Ed Welch makes this point in his book. I think it’s very insightful. False prophets are those who predict the future wrongly. And in our own lives we can be false prophets. “It’s going to go bad! It’s going to go horrible! This could be worst case scenario! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” And then when we get there, we’re like, “Nope. Sorry, I was wrong.” How many of you, that’s your life? You freak out about things that don’t happen?

Just so you know, this is your pastor. I’ll just come clean and tell you, that’s me. I tend to be a visionary. I see the future, I know what’s coming. I freak out about it and then it never happens. How do I know that? Because I was up at 4:30 in the morning many times this last week just thinking about things that probably will never happen. Meanwhile my wife is sleeping. [Congregation laughing] I said, “Well I’m studying, ‘Fear not.’” She’s like, “Hmm. I was sleeping.” “Ah, you probably know more about it than me, because I was up stressing out.” How many of you are false prophets? All right, yeah. Your future is bleak and you will freak out until it doesn’t happen. You’ll get that on the way home. I just pulled the pin on the grenade and I’ll leave it there. It’ll go off later.

7. Fear is not always sinful.

Right? Not always sinful. Right? You send your son off to battle as a soldier. There’s real fear there. Your kid gets their driver’s license. Your daughter goes on her first date, right? You’re pregnant and you’ve had a bunch of miscarriages and you’re hoping to carry to term. Some fears are real. Not all fears are sinful. You’re kind of silly if you don’t have any fears. You’re probably not paying attention. But every fear is an opportunity to either run to or from God as the source of our comfort, hope,

and help.

If you want to watch Pastor Mark preach this sermon its awesome do so at the link below:

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/luke/jesus-and-anxiety

Please post your comments let me know what you think...

Guess whose back to let you know

Ok Ok I have been MIA for a while…had a lot goin on…well SUE ME, BUT guess what I’m back! Just wanted to ease back into my blog so here we go. How many of you come in contact with people who just make you shake your head and think I could smooth haul off and smack you in the face for ‘that’. Well if not you’re weird, I felt compelled to tweet several things that just make me think…‘You Need to Be Slapped across the face.’ I know some of you follow me on twitter and some of you do not so for you who do not here you go. Please feel free to post some of your reasons as a comment Ill be sure to tweet them. Welp *cracks knuckles* here we go!

You still have that 250 count cd case in ya car You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face get some sort of mp3 player its 2010 for crying out loud!

If I hand u my money and u put my change on the counter .

You take yo nasty behind in the bathroom and dont flush when ur done...

On a job app u list as ur email address MrGoodDick@yahoo.com

You went to see For Colored Girls & tweeted or posted to Facebook that you were mad Madea wasn’t in it.

You use your unemployment check to buy weed.

You have a hand written resume.

You are born & raised in the USA and you can't speak proper English. There is a time and place for everything.

On a job app u list for gaps in employment that u were getting off crack & trying to stop prostituting.

If u were more concerned about Lil wayne getting out or some other ridiculousness but didnt attempt to vote for issues concerning you directly You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face.

If you don't brush yo teeth and especially if you are always up in somebodies face.

Deadbeat Dads and Moms.

Your the weather man and tell everyone itll be 75° & sunny & it ends up 30 & raining.

If you're a woman who doesn't think the Rock is sexayyyyy. Ok..say he isn't...look, I dare you I double dog dare you! *ooowwwwwwwwwwwwww* Call me Dwyane! =)

*Ahem ok getting back to the list!

You let ur man get ready to "*give u knowledge" & You dont enlighten him tht its a bad idea that time of the month.

You have an emaciated dog chained up in your backyard surrounded by flies.

You bathe in brute, old spice or any of the kind.

Your breathe smells like moldy ass & cinnamon You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face you need to brush not just pop in a piece of big red.

You kiss yo dog all in the mouth, that’s just nasty.

Your buttcheeks are stuck together because your nasty behind don't know how to wipe properly...

((Scenario)) You know your man/husband is cheating. Your response: "whatever tho.. he comes home to me every night so whatever." *blank stare* You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face

You don't give God the Glory....You Need To Be Slapped Across The Face how do you think you got here fool!

These are only a few...feel free to add on. I could go on all day! Well I h0pe to get back to blogging on a regular basis, but this was just to get back into it. Thank you guys!

*knowledge =head